TOMODACHI 08
by kakkujapojat
Summary: Throughout their childhood, Matt always kept his feelings a secret. He never told him how he felt. But as they grow older, it becomes harder and harder for Matt to conceal how he feels about Mello any longer. Is the best thing to just stay away from him?
1. Meeting

**Greetings! This is my first chapter-running fanfiction without an OC (other than the parental figures... ). So Kaori-haters, you'll like this story :) **

**This story centers around Mello and Matt's childhood together, starting from the age of 8, to the age of 13. It's sort of like a prequel to "OBSESSION", though the events in this fic relate more to things mentioned in "SECRETS". All the same, you can read this fic without worrying about not understanding anything. All of the events that happen in this story occure BEFORE the other two fics. ****Originally the chapters in here were intended to be Bonus Stories for "SECRETS", but there became so many of them that I made them their own fanfiction.**

**There are 19 chapters in all, my shortest yet. Please look forward to the rest, and REVIEW if you want more!! :)**

* * *

第１話

"Meeting"

* * *

**.:.8 YEARS.:.**

* * *

"Mihael, Mail's family just moved here from France. He's exactly your age, isn't that nice?" His mother smiled at him as she introduced the two boys. "He doesn't know any German, so your good English skills will come in handy."

The blond-headed boy studied the newcomer carefully; he was wearing normal clothes, and had reddish brown hair that obviously was hardly ever brushed. His family didn't have much money, the blond boy could tell. The new boy was looking down towards the ground, with a vacant expression on his face as the adults conversed above them.

Taking another drink of the bottle in his hand, the blond boy continued observing the other family. The woman was short, and had brown hair like her son. She was pretty enough, but very plain. The father was handsome, with dark black hair and modest blue eyes. He didn't resemble the younger boy at all. If anything, the blond boy would consider him a stepfather.

"Mihael, we're all going to go inside for a drink. Why don't you show Mail around a bit?" the blond-headed boy's mother said.

"Alright," he agreed grudgingly; it wasn't going to be the highlight of his afternoon, but at least he would have something to do.

When the parents disappeared inside the house, their was an awkward silence between the two boys.

"Um...hi," the blond boy ventured cautiously.

"Hey," the other boy smiled slightly. "My name's Mail, but you can call me Matt if you want. All of my friends back home do."

"Alright then."

"Our parents said we'd be going to school together from now on," Matt said. "But since I don't know German, I'll probably suck at everything..."

"Don't worry. A lot of kids at school have already learned English, so it won't be so hard," the blond assured him.

"Thanks, that's a little reassuring. So...your name is Mihael?"

"Yeah. But I hate it."

"Really? How come?"

He shrugged. "I just do."

Matt laughed. "Alright then. So what do you want your name to be?"

"I dunno," the other boy said, taking another drink.

"Hey, what is that?" Matt said, pointing to the drink. "You like Mello Yello?"

"Yeah, it tastes great! My dad brought it from overseas."

"Hm..." Matt thought for a minute. "Alright, how about I call you Mello then?"

"Mello... Alright, sounds good to me!" he said, smiling. Maybe this arrangement wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

It turned out, Matt's family had moved to Germany on business. His father was a salesmen, and he had gotten a promotion that sent them there. Mello's father had been friends with him in high school, which was the reason that they were meeting up once the promotion was finalized.

Matt's mother didn't have a job, and stayed home cleaning and cooking; she and Mello's mother quickly became friends, and visited each other often.

As for Matt and Mello's friendship, they were inseparable from day one. Almost as if Matt lived there, he would be over at Mello's house almost every day, playing video games and pleading for help on his homework.

Matt's parents went out gambling a lot though, and Matt often stayed over at Mello's house on those nights he was alone. Mello could sense that his friend's family was beginning to have money troubles, but the adults always shooed the boys out of the room when they began to talk about it. Matt often confided in Mello his fears about how his family might end up, but Mello always assured him that whatever happened, he would be there.

* * *

第１話　－　終

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**This is basically just a recap of Mello and Matt's first meeting, which is longer than the excerpt used in "OBSESSION" (Chapter 22. Bound) **

**I laugh slightly, thinking about how their parents were the ones who pushed their friendship, and how now his father would freak out about their relationship. And maybe you're thinking, "Well his father likes Matt, here, doesn't he?" **

**There is a reason Mello's father stopped liking Matt, though.**


	2. Perfect

第２話

"Perfect"

* * *

**.:.9 YEARS.:.**

* * *

A knock on his bedroom door jerked Mello out of his thoughts, as he read over his report card for the seventh time; no matter which way he looked at it, it wasn't good enough. It was never good enough. "Mello, it's me!"

As he heard his friend's voice through the door, Mello stuffed the paper under the pillow and moved over to the bed. "Come in."

Matt bounced through the door, plopping down on the bed beside Mello. "Hiya!"

"Hey. Bored?"

"You bet – there's nothing to do at home anymore. And my parents are out gambling all night. By the way, can I stay over tonight - that being said?" Matt asked.

"Sure," Mello replied, slightly cheered up by his friend's high spirit. "My mom loves you. You're like her second son."

"Well I feel honored. So what do you say we go walk around town today?" Matt suggested anxiously.

"I can't. I'm um – I'm grounded."

"Again!? What is with your parents? Are they like, super-strict or something? Or did you just completely bomb your report card?" Matt said, his face dropping at the fact that he was still stuck at a house.

"I...could have done better," Mello said uneasily.

"That's what you always say! Let me see it!" Matt demanded.

With a heavy sigh, Mello pulled the report card from its entrapment under a blue pillow, and handed it reluctantly to the other boy, who looked over it with mixed anger and disbelief. "Mello, you made A's and B's! You're lying!"

"Yeah, but it isn't perfect."

"Why does it have to be? You did good – something's wrong with your dad if he doesn't think so," Matt replied, flinging the paper back at Mello.

"He just knows I'm capable of doing better."

"Bull! I get C's and D's on my report card, and my parents don't ground me for a week!"

"You really should start worrying about your grades more," Mello replied. "You want to get a good job when you get older, don't you?"

"Pfht. What's the point? We're all gonna die anyway."

"Well that's a very cheerful outlook you have," Mello said sarcastically.

"Seriously, though. You work your butt off and you get grounded! That doesn't make sense."

"Just drop it, Matt," Mello said, tucking the report card away again.

"Fine," Matt sighed. "We're allowed to go outside at least, aren't we?"

"...I'm not."

"Gods, they've practically put you on house arrest!"

"Sorry. I know it sucks that every time you come it seems I'm grounded."

Matt sighed. "I guess it doesn't matter. Still better than my house."

* * *

They spent the night watching television and playing video games, occasionally sneaking down to the kitchen to snatch junk food. Mello always enjoyed Matt's company; with the other boy around, it didn't matter that he wasn't perfect. Matt never made him feel stupid.

At about one in the morning, Matt fell asleep on the bed, and Mello spread a blanket out over him, before going and sitting at his desk, pulling out a textbook and muting the television.

"Mello, what are you doing?" Came a soft, tired voice from behind him. Matt was sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes.

"Nothing, go back to sleep," he said gently, waiting until Matt had crawled under the bed-covers before going back to work.

* * *

Matt opened his eyes to bright sunlight streaming through the windows, slightly obscured by the half-drawn curtains. Sitting up and rubbing his eyes, he felt the place beside him, where Mello should have been laying. When he saw that the place was empty (and cold, so he knew that no one had been there all night), he looked around the room, and his eyes came to rest on the desk in front of the bed, where Mello had fallen asleep with his head resting in his arms over a textbook.

With a sigh, Matt pulled himself out of bed and walked over to the other boy.

Mello was fast asleep, his face buried deep in his arms. It was obvious he had been studying. Matt tried to take a look at the textbook, but it was all in German, and he soon gave up. He sighed again and gently stroked Mello's hair. He had always been telling the other boy that he should grow it out longer; it would look so pretty.

"Mello, you work yourself too hard," Matt whispered, still running his fingers through the other boy's hair. "You're really smart, so please don't be hard on yourself. You're the smartest person I know, you don't have to be perfect." He reached down and touched Mello's face with his fingertips. "You're already perfect to me."

* * *

第２話　－　終

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**I like doing flashbacks of Mello and Matt's childhood together – it gives me a happy feeling inside knowing how much they care about each other, even back then :)**

**When I was writing this scene, I thought "It's so mean of Mello's parents to ground him for getting a couple B's!" and thought it might be going a little extreme, but then I****remembered that one of my friends actually gets grounded for B's on her report card, so then I'm like... "Well, it happens."**

**Poor Mello. But Matt still thinks he's perfect, so that's good :)**


	3. Nightmare

第３話

"Night"

* * *

**.:.10 YEARS.:.**

* * *

After three years of knowing Mello, being as close to him as possible, and spending the night at his house almost every night, there was one thing Matt had never realized: Mello was afraid of the dark.

Sure the television was on every time they went to sleep, but they had usually been watching it. Matt had never thought of its use being a night-light. Then again, Matt _was_ the one Mello forced to venture down into the dark depths of the kitchen for snacks every night; but Matt had chalked that up to being lazy.

The night the power went out, Matt realized this fear for the first time.

When he came back into Mello's bedroom, he saw the other boy sitting in the window seat, fully cloaked by the moonlight. Matt went over and sat beside him, handing the other boy a handful of chips. "I nearly tripped down the stairs when the lights suddenly went out."

"Yeah, it's the storm," Mello replied, shivering a little. He didn't like storms, either, Matt later found out.

When they finished the snacks, Matt yawned. "I'm tired. Since we can't watch TV, why don't we go on to bed?"

"Um, sure..." Mello said, but didn't move when the other boy stood up and went over to the bed.

"Hey, aren't you coming?"

"I think I'll sleep on the window seat tonight," Mello replied.

"Are you crazy? Why would you want to do that?" Matt asked, bemused.

Mello shrugged in a nonchalant sort of way. "I like seeing the sky."

Matt sighed and walked over to the other boy, sitting down beside him again. "What's the matter? Is something wrong?"

"No..."

"Mello, you can tell me."

"I...just don't like the dark," he said.

Matt stared at him for minute, and then laughed – which was probably not a very nice thing to do. "You're afraid of the dark?" he said in disbelief. "Since when?"

"Since there ever was such a thing, stupid!" Mello replied hotly.

"Sorry, but I never knew this. Are you seriously going to sleep on the window seat?"

"Sure, why not?" Mello shrugged. "It's light over here."

Matt sighed. "Mello, come on. Nothing's going to happen – it's just dark."

"Haven't you ever seen the horror movies?"

"Those are only movies."

"Yeah, but it could happen."

"Mello...you won't get any sleep over here."

"So, sure I will."

"You know, lightening could strike the window any minute. Then you'd be fried to bits. What do you say to that?" Matt teased.

"You're lying. Stop trying to scare me," Mello said, his voice shaking a little.

"What are you so afraid of the dark for?"

"You can't see anything. There's no telling what could be anywhere. It's creepy..."

"You're only scaring yourself by thinking of what could be in the dark. There really isn't anything there," Matt assured him. "Come on. I'm tired, and I'm not letting you sleep on the window-seat." He reached for Mello's arm, but the other boy jerked it away.

"No way!"

"Mello, please. It'll be fine – I'll be right next to you."

The other boy gave a small whimper-like moan and buried his face in his arms. Matt put a comforting arm around his friend's shoulders. "I promise it won't be as scary as you think. Just come lie down, alright?" he said in a soothing voice, stroking Mello's hair. By now, it had grown out to the other boy's shoulders.

Mello raised his head slightly and looked up at Matt. "You promise you won't scare me?"

"Of course I won't," Matt assured him. "Now come on."

Reluctantly, Mello stood up and followed Matt to the bed, clutching the other boy's arm as tightly as humanly possible.

They both got under the covers, Mello moving as close to Matt as he could.

Matt put his arm around the other boy and stroked his hair, trying to soothe him to sleep. At every little noise, Mello would jump up in bed. "What was that?!" he cried.

"It was just thunder," Matt assured Mello, pulling him gently back down beside him, and wrapping him tightly in his arms. He took the other boy's hand and gave it a small squeeze. "You're fine. I'm right here."

Mello was still restless. Matt could hear him whimper slightly, and jump at every crackle of thunder.

"What's that!?" Mello cried, jumping up once more in bed, and pointing to the corner. "I saw something there!"

"There's nothing there," Matt replied.

"I saw it!" Mello repeated; he was crying.

"Sh..." Matt sat up and took Mello into his lap. The other boy wrapped his arms around him and whimpered into his shirt, shaking. "You're alright, Mello," he said gently, running his fingers through his friend's hair. "I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

A soft whimper was his reply.

"There's nothing in here that can hurt you," Matt whispered. "I won't let it." He began to rock slowly back and forth. "Nothing in the dark can hurt you, Mello. I promise. As long as I'm here, you'll be alright."

Mello quieted slightly as Matt spoke, and relaxed in the other boy's arms.

"I'll always protect you," Matt whispered. "I promise. I'll never let anything hurt you."

Comforted by Matt's words, Mello was soon fast asleep.

After that night, Mello was no longer terrified of the dark. Any time he was frightened, he thought of Matt, and that was enough to ease his mind and soothe him to sleep.

* * *

第３話　－　終

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**The way Matt holds Mello at the end is similar to how he comforted him in Chapter 2 of "SECRETS". This is what Mello means when he says, "Remember what you used to do for me when we were kids?" **

**I think this scene is sweet :)**

**I wish I had someone to do that for me...even though I'm not afraid of the dark. **

**I love MattXMello :)**

**I was going to make them younger in this scene, but every time I do a scene when they're little kids, I make them talk too grown-up. I try and think of my friend's eight-year old brothers when I write scenes from Mello and Matt's childhood...but I could never picture them talking to any of their friends like Matt and Mello talk to each other. They're way too immature, but maybe that's just them. I'm sure there are some eight-year olds who care more about each other. But anyway, that's the reason I made Matt and Mello a little older for this scene. **

**REVIEW for more!! :)**


	4. Close

第４話

(Close)

* * *

**.:.11 YEARS.:.**

* * *

"Matt, Matt! You'll never believe this!" Mello nearly pushed the other boy down on the ground as he threw himself on Matt in his excitement.

"What is it?" Matt asked.

Mello shoved a piece of paper in his face as a reply. "Look!"

Matt took the paper, studied it for a minute, and then looked back at Mello. "I can't read German, remember?"

"Oh, right -" In his excitement, Mello had obviously forgotten this significant fact.

"Just tell me what it says!" Matt said impatiently.

"Okay – you know that private school I applied to?"

"Yeah..."

"Well..." Mello took a deep breath. "I got in!!" he cried, all but jumping up and down.

"Really? Mello, that's great! I knew you could do it!" _Wait...why does my enthusiasm sound totally fake?_

"I never thought I'd get in, but I did! I can't believe it!"

"You're smart, Mello. Of course you got in!" Matt managed a smile.

"The only thing that sucks is that we won't be going to the same school," Mello said.

"Oh, really? I wasn't even thinking about that..." Matt said, giving an unnatural laugh.

"Matt, that's all you've been thinking about since I applied to this school," Mello reminded him flatly.

"Oh, well...I'll admit that sucks, but I'm still really proud of you!" _What a time to actually start CARING about your grades, Matt..._ he scolded himself.

"When do you start?" Matt asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Two weeks from today."

_Plenty of time..._

"What'd your father say?"

"What d'you think he said, he was proud!" Mello smiled. "I finally did something worthwhile!"

As always, Matt grew slightly irritated by this statement. _You've always been doing things worthwhile. Your father just couldn't see that._

"And...we'll still get to see each other after school and on weekends," Mello assured him.

"Yeah..." _But it won't be the same._ "Why don't we go out to celebrate then?" Matt suggested, his face lighting up slightly. "We can go to the fair that's in town."

_Actually, _Mello thought, _I really need to study. But..._ He smiled. "Of course. That sounds like fun, Matt."

The other boy returned the smile.

_I don't always have to work after all..._

* * *

That night, Matt sat in the middle of his bed, pouring over the textbooks scattered around him, forming the words on his lips and trying to make sense of what they said. _Damn it all. Why couldn't my parents have chosen a country where I know the damn language?_ He thought irritably. _I always have to rely on Mello to explain the lesson to me. The fact didn't even cross my mind that if he went off to that school, he wouldn't be around to help me. Though that's not my reason for doing this at all..._

This was how he'd been sitting for the past three hours.

_I have to work hard, I don't want to be left behind..._

_But everything seems so hopeless. I'm nowhere near as smart as Mello. _

He gave a sigh and returned to the next book, trying to concentrate.

_I have to do this. If I want to keep up with Mello, I have to do this..._

_I have to work harder, and..._

* * *

"Mail, sweetie – wake up." A gentle hand shook Matt out of his deep sleep that morning. "It's time for school."

"Wha...?" Matt immediately sat bolt upright in bed, his face unsticking from a page of his textbook.

"You were studying hard last night, huh?" his mother smiled at him. "It's because Mihael got into that private school, isn't it?"

Matt blushed a littled as he averted his mother's gaze. "How'd you know about it?"

"His father told us as soon as it happened," she replied. "They're very proud of him."

"Yeah."

"Sweetie, I know you want to follow his pace, but don't try too hard, okay?" she said gently.

"I'm not," Matt replied defensively.

"Okay, okay. Get ready for school, alright?" she gave him a soft kiss on the forehead and headed from the room.

Once she had left, Matt slid off the bed and went over to the closet.

_I'll do it. I'll get in too. I have to. I have to..._

* * *

Mello was roughly jerked out of a sound sleep by a soft rapping on his window that night. Such a noise wasn't unnusual, but tonight it sounded more persistant and loud.

Giving an irritated sigh, he swung himself out of bed and ran a hand through his hair, yawning. Slowly, he trudged over to the window, and lazily pulled back the curtains.

Matt was on the other side of the glass, holding on tightly to the pipe that stretched down from the roof to the ground, his feet planted firmly on the flimsy fence attatched to the wall of the house.

"Matt...?" Mello unlocked the window and slid open the glass, puzzled by the site of the other boy so late at night – and, most of all, at his window.

Immediately as he opened the window, Matt let go of the pipe and latched on to Mello as the other boy pulled him inside, dropping him rather unceremoniously on the floor before relocking the windows.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Mello hissed in a whisper, turning around to face the other boy. "What if my parents heard you?"

"...I..." Matt looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry...I just...couldn't sleep."

"You came _all the way here_ because you couldn't sleep?" Mello repeated.

Matt was silent for a moment, and Mello suddenly understood.

"When did they say they'd be back?"

"They didn't," Matt replied softly. "I'm sorry, Mello. I hate being alone in that house..."

"I know..." Mello gave a sigh.

"You don't mind if I stay do you? I know I'm always bothering you..."

"It's no problem," Mello said.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Come on and get in bed," Mello replied, pulling the other boy up from the floor.

As they crawled under the covers, Matt immediately curled up against Mello, his arm wrapped tightly around the other boy's waist. Mello had always hated any physical contact from anyone, but for some reason Matt was always allowed to do this. He knew that he was the _only_ one Mello ever let touch him at all – anyone else would have their hand slapped away.

Matt was the only one Mello ever let close.

Though why Matt wanted to be this physically close, anyway, he didn't know. But Mello didn't seem to mind, so Matt never stopped. Mello was also the only one _Matt_ had ever had any physical contact with – as his parents had never usually shown him that sort of affection, so he savored the moments while he could.

"Mello?" he said softly, a few minutes later.

"Mm?" came the half-asleep reply.

"I lo..."

"Hm?"

"I..." Matt stopped in mid-sentence, shocked by what he had almost said. "N-nothing. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

* * *

第４話　－　終


	5. Realization

第５話

"Realization"

* * *

**.:.11 YEARS.:.**

* * *

"Mello, guess what! Guess what!"

"What?" Mello said, trying to get his breath back after having Matt throw himself on him.

"I got in too!" Matt cried, shoving a paper under Mello's nose.

"Mello studied the paper for a minute and his eyes widened. "Matt, how did you...?"

"I studied! That's all I've been doing for the past two weeks! I can even read a little German now. It's not much, but at least I can understand the lessons better..."

"Matt..." Mello was at a loss for words. "What made you decide to do this?"

Matt blushed a little. "Well, when you got in...I figured I should work harder too! After all, who's going to be able to translate the lesson for me?" Matt joked.

"Matt..." Mello's expression became serious, and he gently guided Matt over to sit on the bed. "I'm really proud of you, don't doubt that. But...what's the real reason that you applied to the school?"

"I just told you."

"You've never cared about your grades, Matt," Mello stated matter-of-fact.

Matt looked down at the ground, searching for an answer. What was his reason for doing this? To be with Mello? _Just_ to be with Mello? No...there was something more to it than that. Why did he suddenly feel tears in his eyes?"

"Matt, what's wrong?" Mello said, placing a hand on the other boy's shoulder. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not," Matt protested, at the same time he wiped his eyes. He couldn't very well explain to Mello his _real_ reason for wanting in the same school. Mostly because he didn't know the answer himself.

Mello sighed and wiped the tears from under Matt's eyes. "I wasn't trying to upset you."

"I know..." Matt's voice shook as he spoke. "But you – I didn't think about whether you'd even want me in the same school or not."

"What are you talking about?" Mello said, smiling slightly. "Of course I'm happy we're in the same school, silly."

"Yeah, but...you would've been perfectly happy going there without me, right? So long as you felt like you were smart..."

"Matt..." Mello sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm aware that sometimes I end up leaving you behind. And I know you try hard to follow me. I'll take that into consideration, I'm sorry."

"But I don't want to keep being a burden. I hate thinking that I'm dragging you down with me. It's not fair to you."

"You aren't dragging me down," Mello said. "Getting into this school is something, Matt. It takes a lot of work and talent. I'm flattered that you worked that hard just to be with me." He smiled.

Matt could feel a blush creeping up his cheeks again. _I'd do anything to be with you..._ he thought.

"Matt, you can stop crying now," Mello said gently, pulling the other boy into his arms.

Surprised slightly by this sudden gesture, Matt remained still for a moment, before wrapping his arms around Mello and burying his face in the other boy's shirt. "I'm pathetic, aren't I?" Matt said, his voice slightly muffled.

Mello gave a small laugh. "Of course not." He gently detached the other boy's arms from around him and brushed the hair from his face. "But everything's fine. You can stop crying."

On a sudden impulse, Matt wrapped his arms around Mello's neck and buried his face in his friend's shirt.

"Matt..." Mello laughed. "What's with you?"

_I don't know. I have no idea of why I want to hold you in my arms so badly, of why I want to be with you this much._

Mello allowed Matt to hold on to him until he calmed down.

When the other boy finally stopped crying, Matt sat up and wiped his eyes.

"Hey," Mello said. "What do you say we go to the town arcade today?"

"You mean that?!" Matt said, his face immediately brightening.

"Yeah." Mello smiled. "It'll be fun."

Matt returned the smile.

_I now know...why I want to keep up with Mello so much. Why I want to be with him so badly... _

_I think that I'm..._

_That I..._

_I'm in love with him._

* * *

第５話　－　終

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**It was hard to write this chapter, because I'm so used to writing 'love' scenes between MelloXMatt, so it was hard to restrict their actions and dialogue in this chapter to 'friends only'. **

**REVIEW for more!! :)**


	6. Date

第６話

"Date"

* * *

**.:.12 YEARS.:.**

* * *

"Hello!"

Mello nearly jumped out of his skin as a voice suddenly came from behind him, as it did every day. "Gods, Matt...you scared me half to death!" Mello gasped, holding a hand to his chest in an attempt to stop the rapid pace of his heartbeat.

Matt smiled. "You look sleepy – did you study all night again?"

"How can you be so cheerful in the mornings?" Mello asked, stuffing a few books in his locker.

"Because I get to see _you_," Matt said -teasingly- even though he was being serious.

"Haha," Mello said sarcastically, but smiling all the same. "Man...I don't think I've ever been this sleepy in the morning before." He yawned.

The two of them had been going to private school togther for a year now. By some miracle, Matt had been able to keep up with Mello the entire time, maintaining a B average at most. Mello had made straight A's the entire year. Although he hadn't said anything, Matt could tell that all the studying was taking its toll on the other boy. Mello was always tired, and he constantly complained of headaches.

"Why don't you lay off studying for a while today, and we can go somewhere?" Matt suggested hopefully.

"Sorry, I can't – I've got a math test tomorrow."

"Aw, come on. You know you'll pass without studying – you're a genius!"

"I can't, Matt. I'm sorry."

Matt sighed. "Fine. But I really think you're overworking yourself."

"Whatever," Mello said. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"Okay, whatever you say..." Matt rolled his eyes.

* * *

That afternoon, Mello arrived home, exhausted as always.

Giving a heavy sigh, Mello plopped down face-first on his bed, savoring the warmth and comfort of a fluffy pillow.

He didn't remember what time he fell asleep. The next thing Mello knew was that he had just opened his eyes and the clock politely informed him that nearly two hours had passed since he'd been home.

"Shit," he muttered, sitting up and wiping the drool from his face. Now he was hungry.

Just as he swung himself out of bed and prepared to go down to the kitchen, he spotted something lying on the table. _Chocolate...? But..._

He immediately went to the door of his bedroom, pulling it open and looking in the hallway.

The other boy was nowhere in sight.

"That's funny...I could've sworn..."

"BOO!"

Mello nearly jumped a foot in the air, swerving around, fully prepared to whack whoever it was.

"Matt! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Mello cried.

The other boy was doubled over with laughter. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

"How long have you been here?" Mello asked.

"Since you fell asleep." Matt smiled. "I would've woke you, but I knew you needed the sleep."

"I already told you I couldn't go anywhere tonight," Mello reminded him, unwrapping the chocolate bar and taking a bite from it.

"I know," Matt replied, as Mello went back into his room. "I just figured that since we both had homework, we could maybe...do it together?" he suggested.

Mello turned to look back at the other boy, his expression slightly surprised. "Yeah – sure." He then gave a smile. "So long as you don't bug me."

"I promise not to," Matt agreed obediently, as he sat down on the bed beside Mello.

That was how it was from then on.

Every day, Mello would collapse – exhausted – on his bed after school, and fall asleep. He would always wake up to a bar of chocolate on the bedside table, and know that Matt was waiting in the other room.

He would go out to see him, and they would study together.

_Almost like a 'date'..._

* * *

第６話　－　終

* * *

**I know this story seems like nothing but a fluff right now, but I promise it will begin to change soon! So please keep reading :)**

**And leave REVIEWS if you want the next chapter!**


	7. Whisper

第７話

"Whisper"

* * *

**.:.12 YEARS.:.**

* * *

"Hey, Mello..." Matt grabbed his friend's arm as they headed to P.E. that morning. "What do you say we skip P.E. and go hang out outside?"

Mello looked at him like he was crazy; a boy wanting to skip P.E. was about the equivalent of a girl not wanting to wear make-up. Though with Matt, he wasn't really surprised that the other boy wanted to skip; he never was much on socialization or physical activity. "I'm not getting into trouble," Mello said.

"Come on – it's just P.E.!" Matt protested.

"Yeah, well...it still counts for a grade! I'm not getting a bad one. Besides, if one of the teachers were to catch us, we'd get detention."

"Come on...we can steal some chocolate from the vending machine..."

"Matt, the answer is no."

Matt gave a heavy sigh. "Fine. I'll see you later then."

"You're still skipping?"

"Hell yeah – I don't wanna go to P.E." Matt smiled and gave a small wave. "I'll see you later."

"...'kay." Mello watched as the other boy turned and walked down the hallway. He shook his head slightly, before turning and going back in the gym.

When Mello got back to class after P.E., he was surprised to see that Matt wasn't in his seat. He sat down, figuring that the other boy would be back after he beat whatever video game he was playing outside.

But Matt didn't show up the entire class period. He didn't show up next class, either.

"Hey, Alex," Mello said, tapping a boy on the shoulder. "Have you seen Matt?"

"Matt? He went home early – didn't you know?"

"Huh? Went home? Why?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know. He's _your_ friend, isn't he?"

As Alex walked away, Mello stood dumbstruck in the hallway for a minute. If Matt knew he was leaving early, why hadn't he said anything? Or had something come up?

* * *

When Mello arrived home, instead of collapsing on his bed, he tried to call the other boy. However, when he dialed the number, he discovered that it had been disconnected.

"The hell...?" He shut off the phone and gave a sigh.

It wasn't but two minutes later that the phone rang.

Mello reached for it, but his father got to it before him.

"Hallo?" he said gruffly, and Mello froze in his spot, waiting.

A pause, and his father glanced at him. "Yeah – one moment." He sighed and handed the phone to Mello, who immediately grabbed it and ran up to his room.

"Matt?!" he all but yelled into the phone.

"Mello, I'm sorry!" Matt said, in a voice that sounded like he was crying.

"What happened? Where were you?"

"I'm sorry, Mello...we got kicked out."

"Kicked out? What are you talking about?"

"My p-parents, they couldn't pay the rent – so they...we had to move, to an apartment somewhere."

"Apartment? Where?" Mello demanded.

"Just a few blocks from our old house. But... I'm scared, Mello," he said, his voice becoming a whisper. "I don't know what to do. I don't think we have much money, and they're still out gambling..."

Mello could feel his eyes widen as he heard Matt's trembling voice.

"Will you still be at school?" Mello asked.

"Yeah – yeah, I will."

"Okay. I..." Mello couldn't find any words to say.

"Do you think...I could stay over tonight?" Matt asked quietly.

"Yeah – of course," Mello replied without hesitation.

"Thanks. Your parents...do they know?"

"I don't know. Didn't your parents tell them?"

"I don't think so. I think they're trying to keep it a secret," Matt whispered.

"Alright, then – I won't say anything. Just come over tonight, okay?"

"Alright. And Mello..?"

"Huh?"

"...Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

* * *

That night, Matt showed up as promised.

When he came into Mello's room, he was shaking slightly.

"Are you...okay?" Mello asked, sitting down beside him on the bed.

Matt shook his head. "I don't know." As Matt started crying, Mello wrapped him in his arms.

Matt tried his best to not break down in sobs, his arms tightening around Mello, as the other boy gently stroked his hair.

As Matt clung to him, Mello suddenly understood what he was to the boy. Out of everything in Matt's life, everything going wrong at this moment, Mello was the one thing he could trust, the only one that even seemed to care about him at all.

"It'll be okay," Mello whispered.

Later that night, the TV played, muted, in the corner of the room, as the two boys rested under the warm covers of the bed. Matt had his arms wrapped tightly around Mello, his face buried in the other boy's back.

"I'm really scared, Mello," Matt whispered. "I don't know what's going to happen..."

"It'll be okay," Mello assured Matt, giving his friend's hand a small squeeze.

"You won't leave me, will you, Mello?"

"Of course not. I'll always be here, whatever you need."

"I don't know what to do," Matt whimpered. "Everything is falling apart..."

"I know it seems that way now, but things will get better."

"How do you know?"

Mello swallowed hard, to get rid of the rising lump in his throat. "I don't know."

Matt tightened his hold around the other boy. "You're lucky – you have everything. You have a home, and a stable one at that."

"You have a home, Matt."

"No I don't – not anymore."

"Matt..." Mello turned over on his other side to face Matt, who was slowly beginning to cry again. "I can't promise things will get better, but I'll do anything I can to make it easier."

_I love you, Mello, _Matt thought, absolutely absolutely dying to say it aloud.

"Thank you – for everything, Mello. I know I'm pathetic, and you're a saint to put up with me."

"You aren't pathetic." Mello wrapped his arms around Matt and pulled him close.

"Mello..."

"Just go to sleep, alright?" Mello said gently. "The faster you do, the less you'll have to think about this."

"I don't want to go to sleep, because then I'll have to wake up and go home. I want to stay here." _With you._

"I know. I'm sorry." Mello sighed. "But I'll be here all night, okay? I'm not leaving."

"Mello...thank you, I..." Instead of saying the three words he so desparately wanted to say, Matt changed the subject. "Why are you doing this? Why do you bother to even try and make me feel better?"

"Because – you're my friend, and I care about you," Mello said, as though Matt should have realized this fact.

"Boys shouldn't care about their friends this much," Matt blurted out.

"What do you mean?" Mello laughed.

Matt blushed slightly, though Mello couldn't see it through the darkness. "All the other boys could care less about their friends. It's as if they have no feelings whatsoever."

"Obviously I'm above those people, and I figured you'd know me well enough by now to know that I'm not like those idiots."

"But...I always thought getting good grades was more important to you than anything else."

"Matt, making good grades is important to me, but it isn't the _most_ important."

"Then what is?" Matt asked.

"You are."

Matt could feel his face burning. "I'm sure that isn't true," he mumbled. "There has to be something you care about more than me."

"What else do I have to care about?"

"I don't know – you have other friends."

Mello laughed slightly. "No I don't."

"Na?"

"I may talk to the other boys, but I'm not really friends with them."

Matt was silent.

"Stop minimizing your importance to me," Mello said. "You're my best friend."

"Why do you think we're friends?" Matt asked.

"I don't know. Because of our parents, I guess."

"Yeah, but we stayed friends. How come?"

"I guess we just got along." Mello laughed again. "What's with all the weird questions?"

Matt shrugged. "Just wondering."

"Everything will be fine, okay? Just get some sleep." Mello turned over on his other side and Matt wrapped his arm tightly around his waist, curling up against him. He was silent for a minute, debating.

"Mello...?"

"Hm?"

He paused, his voice caught in the back of his throat. "I.." He swallowed, and his next words were but a whisper. "...I love you."

Mello didn't reply for a while, and Matt wondered if he had heard him. He could feel his own face burning, as he held his breath – waiting for Mello's reaction.

Finally, after a few seconds, he heard Mello's voice – a soft, sweet, whisper. "...I love you, too, Matt."

* * *

第７話　－　終


	8. Worry

第８話

"Worry"

* * *

**.:.13 YEARS.:.**

* * *

They had never spoken of it, never were the three words mentioned or referred to. It was as if they'd never been said, almost like a distant memory.

Matt constantly wondered about what reason Mello had repeated his words. Perhaps he hadn't seen any harm in saying it; maybe he hadn't realized _Matt's_ reason for saying it. Though Matt couldn't really think of anything else it _could_ mean. Guys didn't just say "I love you" to each other like girls did.

Mello still talked to Matt as if the words had never been spoken. Although Matt was slightly grateful for this avoidance of awkwardness, he also wished that Mello had shown some sort of reaction to his words. But the other boy said nothing about it.

Matt wondered what Mello would say if he said it again. Not that he dared try it.

* * *

"Mail, your father and I are going out for a bit!" came a voice from the living room.

"'Kay," he called back.

So they were leaving again. Like they did _every _night.

Matt considered going to Mello's, but he really hated forcing his problems on the other boy. Giving a sigh, he turned off the light and crawled into bed.

* * *

"Matt... Matt..."

Matt snapped back to earth as he suddenly noticed the other boy standing in front of him in the school hallway.

"Are you okay?" Mello asked.

"Y-yeah, sorry." Matt shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts.

His parents hadn't come home the previous night, or that morning, and he'd been slightly worried.

"You coming over after school?" Mello asked.

"Sorry, can't – I have to get home and start dinner."

"Oh. Then...your parents didn't come home last night?" By now, Mello knew all too well how Matt's parents behaved sometimes.

Matt feigned a smile. "Don't worry about it, they'll be home soon. I have to go – I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"...alright." Mello watched uneasily as Matt walked in the opposite direction.

Something wasn't right.

* * *

第８話　－　終


	9. Ill

**This chapter doesn't really have any connection with the main plot, but I REALLY wanted to use this scene somewhere, so it ended up here! :)**

* * *

第９話

"Ill"

* * *

"He's sick?"

"Yes. I'm afraid you'll have to come back in a few days, when he's feeling better." Mello's mother gave Matt an apologetic smile as she closed the front door.

Matt gave a sigh. _Mello's always sick. It's from all that studying. He's making himself this way..._

Also, Mello's parents never let Matt visit when their son was sick; he was always confined to his bed – from exhaustion – and Matt always had to wait until he got well.

However...

* * *

_Knock, knock._

Matt tightly gripped the drainpipe by the window to make sure he didn't fall and peered into the window of Mello's room, knocking again when he heard no sound from within.

Finally, the curtain pulled back a moment later, and the window opened to let him (fall) inside.

"Matt? What are you doing here?" Mello asked, closing the window as Matt sat up on the floor.

"I heard you weren't feeling well, and your parents won't let me see you."

"Oh...right."

Up close, Mello looked pale in the moonlight, his thin frame obvious through the over-sized T-shirt he was wearing.

"I told you that you were working too hard," Matt said.

"Lay off, alright?" Mello griped. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. All that studying – and you haven't been eating, either, have you?"

"Why'd you bother coming?"

"Because I was worried about you." Matt stood up from the floor and walked over to Mello. "You always get sick when you're under pressure. All that work isn't good for you."

"I'm not sick because of working too hard, okay?" he shrugged Matt off as the other boy attempted to rest a hand on his shoulder. "I'm fine."

But he didn't look fine.

Dark circles rested under his eyes, and the deep blue irisis around his pupil had faded. His already-thin body looked frightfully weak.

"Mello, please. You're smart enough, so please stop working yourself so hard!"

"Just lay off! I'm fine, alright?! There was no point in even - !" He suddenly stopped in mid-sentence, and put a hand to his head.

Matt caught Mello just as he fell, and supported him as he collapsed.

With his arms around the other boy like this, Matt could feel the effects of Mello's constant studying, the result of always trying to be the perfect child his parents wanted and expected him to be. He had grown so pale and thin in so little time... Matt recounted the number of times he'd held Mello in his arms before, all the times he'd comforted the other boy, or had Mello comfort him.

Carefully, he helped Mello over to the bed as the other boy began to slightly regain conciousness.

"Are you okay?" Matt asked, as he sat down beside Mello on the bed.

"Fine." Mello kept his hand to his head, his expression slightly pained.

"You're not alright, Mello! You almost fainted!" Matt cried.

"Just stop worrying about me!"

"I won't!" Matt hissed, in a whisper so that Mello's parents wouldn't hear. "Stop doing this to yourself. You may want to act serious and try to be an adult, but you're still just a kid!"

Mello was silent for a while. "Sorry I worried you," he said at last.

"Just stop trying to hard, okay? It's wearing you out. You don't have to be perfect."

"I don't know why I try so hard," Mello said, shaking his head. "It all comes down to nothing."

"That isn't true!" Matt said. "Of course it amounts to something! Just because you don't always live up to what your parents want you to be, you think you're worth nothing. But that isn't true, Mello!"

"Sure it is," Mello said dejectedly, hugging his knees to his chest.

"Mello, if you keep trying to live up to your parents' wishes, you'll never be satisfied. You can't be perfect. And besides..." Matt rested a hand on the other boy's shoulder. "You already seem perfect to me."

Mello gave a small laugh. "If only my parents were as easily satisfied."

"Stop trying to do everything your parents expect. Just be yourself, Mello. That's all you can do."

"I don't even know myself anymore, Matt," Mello replied softly.

Matt felt his heart ache as he heard Mello say this. "Then start with _you_," Matt said. "Do what _you_ want."

"I don't know what I want. I've never had the choice."

"Then what do you feel?"

Mello was silent for a while, and then his hand found Matt's and gave it a small squeeze. "Will you stay tonight?" he asked quietly.

Although surprised by his friend's sudden request, Matt nodded. "But...what about your parents?"

"I don't care." Mello's arms wound their way around the other boy and he buried his face in Matt's shirt, breathing deeply. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

"Alright." Matt gently ran his fingers through Mello's soft blond hair.

They both crawled under the covers and this time it was Mello who clung to Matt, craving some sort of comfort.

"Matt?" he said softly.

"Na?"

"Thank you." Mello whispered.

"For what?"

"For always being here." Mello's arms tightened around him. "I can't thank you enough for that."

Matt was silent for a minute, thoughts debating inside his head again. "Mello?"

"Yeah?" The other boy's voice was muffled.

"...I love you."

This time, Mello's reply wasn't hesitant. "I love you, too, Matt."

* * *

第９話　－　終

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**This was more like a bonus-bonus story than an actual part of the fic. But I had this scene in my mind for a while so I wanted to write it :)**

**REVIEW for more!! :D**


	10. Tempting

**Just to take note of, the rest of the story will rest at the age of 13 years, seeing as they go to the orphanage at 14.**

* * *

第１０話

"Tempting"

* * *

After that, the words became a regular saying between them. They never gave a reason for saying it, nor did they make a deal of it. They just...said it. As though it was a fun childish game.

Every time they would say goodbye, Matt would always lean forward and whisper in Mello's ear, "I love you", and every time Mello would say it back. The two boys weren't even positive they knew why they said it themselves. They just did.

* * *

"Hey, Matt!" Mello grabbed the other boy by the shoulder to stop him in the hallway. "I've been calling your name all down the hall, didn't you hear me?" He sounded agitated.

"Oh, sorry – I guess I didn't. Did you want something?"

"I was just wondering if your parents ever came home last night. They've been staying out a lot later lately, haven't they?"

Matt gave a small shrug, trying to brush it off. "It's not a big deal. You don't need to worry about it."

"But I do worry about it," Mello said, as they continued walking down the hallway. "I worry about _you._ You shouldn't have to listen and put up with all of that."

It was true. Aside from gambling night after night, Matt's parents always argued, viciously. Mello knew this, too; he had heard them countless times, especially when Matt called him -in tears- during the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep due to the fights.

"I'm used to it; really, don't worry about it."

"Still, if you ever want to get away from it... just come over, alright? You don't have to call."

"I know," Matt said. "I appreciate it."

"Okay, but if ..."

"Sorry, I – I'm late to class." Matt suddenly turned around to check the clock behind them. "I-I'll see you later, Mello, okay?" he said, just as he began to walk in the opposite direction.

"Uh...sure, okay..." Mello stared, puzzled, after the other boy, before finally heading to his own class.

* * *

That night, Mello was woke up by the persistant ringing of his cellphone. (His cellphone only every rang if Matt needed to call during the night, so as not to wake Mello's parents.)

When he pressed the call button, Matt's voice sounded on the other line.

"Mello?"

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I..." Matt's voice was shaking a little, and Mello could hear his parents yelling in the background. "I...can I come over?" His voice was very quiet.

Mello immediately sat up in bed. "Yeah, of course. I'll be waiting downstairs, alright?"

"Alright. ...thank you."

"No problem."

When Mello hung up the phone, he sat on the edge of his bed for a minute, mulling over the conversation. Matt always tried to brush his home life off as nothing, like it didn't bother him, but every night Mello could hear the truth in his voice. Because every night, he was the one Matt called.

* * *

Matt showed up half an hour later, wet from the rain that had started pouring outside just minutes ago.

"Matt, you're soaking wet!" Mello said, immediately pulling Matt into the living room, and out of the rain.

"Sorry...I uh – didn't expect it to rain. Think you have spare clothes I can borrow?" Matt said sheepishly.

"Sure. Wait here one second." He immediately went up to his room to grab a clean pair of clothes for the other boy, who was shivering by the time he arrived back downstairs.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble," Matt said, his voice shaking as much as his body, though not from the cold. "I just couldn't stand it anymore..."

"It's fine – don't worry about it. Just dry off before you catch a cold," Mello ordered, more concerned with the other boy dripping rain water everywhere rather than the fact that he'd woken him up in the middle of the night to come over.

Matt quickly stripped off his wet clothes and gratefully changed into the other warm material. Still shivering, he grabbed a nearby blanket and settled himself on the couch as Mello tossed the damp clothes into the laundry room somewhere. "Can I stay here where the fireplace is? It's cold up in your room," Matt said, when Mello was back in the living room.

"Sure, I suppose. Give me a minute and I'll bring some pillows and stuff. We can just sleep down here," Mello told him.

"Okay." Matt waited on the couch while Mello returned upstairs, coming back down with a pile of blankets and pillows from his bed.

"Will your parents be angry about this?" Matt asked, his voice quivering.

"Nah, they'll get over it," Mello assured him, sitting down beside Matt on the couch, putting another blanket over the both of them.

Matt hesitated for a minute, and then climbed into Mello's lap, wrapping his arms around the other boy's waist. Mello returned the embrace, gently pulling Matt close against him.

"I love you, Mello," Matt said softly, closing his eyes tight against the tears that threatened to fill his eyes.

"I love you too," Mello whispered back.

_Why?_ Matt wondered. _Why does he always say it back?_

"Whatever happens," Mello said, "You can always come to me, okay?"

"I know." Matt's voice began to shake slightly.

They stayed like that for a while, with Mello holding Matt in his arms, and the other boy clinging tightly to him. Only when Matt finally fell asleep against him, did Mello lay him down on the couch, resting beside him and closing his eyes. It wasn't but a few moments later that he fell asleep himself.

* * *

Matt opened his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the sudden darkness before his eyes. How long ago had he fallen asleep?

Looking around, he remembered where he was, and felt a calm wave of relief sweep over him. Then he noticed someone was laying beside him.

Matt felt his heart skip a beat as he looked down and saw Mello asleep beside him on the couch.

His arms were wrapped around Matt, and with the both of them entwined under the covers, it would be fairly impossible for Matt to get up without waking Mello.

So he continued laying there, staring at Mello's perfect features. He always looked like an angel when he slept; it was the only time he let his guard down, and was vulnerable.

How the other boy had managed to fall asleep in this position, Matt could never know. He supposed years of stress and hardly any sleep made it possible.

He stared at Mello for a little while longer, listening to the sounds of the other boy's deep breathing. Up close like this, Matt could feel his breath against his face, Mello's body pressed close against his.

Mello's face was just millimeters away from Matt's, his lips closer than they had ever been.

_So tempting..._

Matt could feel his heart pounding wildly against his chest, and he could feel his mouth go dry at the prospect. It couldn't hurt... It couldn't hurt if he just tried it...

Slowly, Matt closed his eyes and leaned forward – waiting, to make sure Mello was asleep – and then softly, very softly, he brushed his lips against the other boy's.

Immediately, he felt an odd sort of contentment surge through him. How he longed for Mello to kiss him back. Matt didn't want to break the kiss, didn't want to separate from Mello. But things would be far worse, Matt knew, if Mello woke up to find himself kissing another boy.

So slowly, reluctantly, he parted. Mello was still sound asleep, and for a minute Matt wondered if he had imagined it all. His head was certainly swimming, and he felt dizzy.

He reached up and brushed a strand of hair from Mello's face, a small wave of warmth washing over him as his fingertips brushed against the other boy's skin.

Just as he was about to fall asleep, Matt was suddenly self-concious, wondering what Mello's parents would say if they saw them on the couch like this. With his parents, there might be a few short jokes about it, but Mello's parents were unpredictable.

So with a small sigh, Matt untangled himself from the blanket and went over to lay on the other couch, severely missing the other boy's warmth.

* * *

第１０話　－　終**  
**

**Haha, leave REVIEWS if you want to read the rest :) **


	11. Ask

第１１話

"Ask"

* * *

The next morning, Matt woke up to bright sunlight stretching out across the room. His mind and vision were hazy, and it took him a moment to completely wake up. When he did, he was surprised to feel a warm body resting beside him. Looking over, he was even more surprised to discover Mello asleep next to him, the other boy's arm wrapped around his waist, his head resting on Matt's chest.

_What the...? _Matt shifted slightly, sitting up on the couch. Mello didn't move.

Matt figured Mello must have woken up during the night and moved over on his couch, though why Mello would do such a thing, Matt didn't know. Usually Matt was the one seeking closeness at night. But Mello had wanted to be close to him...

This thought made Matt smile to himself.

He gave a small sigh and laid back down beside Mello.

He didn't want to go back home. He didn't want to face his parents, didn't want to listen to them yell and scream anymore. It would be perfect if he could just stay with Mello, where he wanted to be in the first place. He hated home. He hated it more than anything.

Turning over on his side, he found himself facing Mello again, in a similar position to last night. This realization made his heart begin to beat a little faster. Matt stayed still for a while, simply watching the other boy.

A few minutes later, he felt Mello shift slightly, and then the other boy opened his eyes, a small smile forming on his face as he saw Matt. "Morning."

Matt hoped to hell that he wasn't blushing. "M-morning."

Mello didn't seem at all disturbed by how close their faces were. "Did you sleep well last night?" he asked.

"Yeah, better than I would've at home."

"I'm glad," Mello said, "that I could be of some help."

Matt was silent for a minute, silently pleading with his mind not to think about how close he and Mello were. It was enough of a struggle simply not to lean forward a few more millimeters and repeat the events of last night.

Suddenly, Matt could feel pressure on his hand, and looked down to see that Mello had taken it and laced their fingers together.

"I don't want to go home," Matt said.

"I know you don't, but your parents are the ones who make that choice."

"I hate them."

"Oh, Matt...you don't mean that," Mello said gently.

"Yes, I do. I hate them."

Mello sighed. "Things will get better."

"They haven't yet."

"Just bear with it."

"I've been bearing it," Matt said, "For years. I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of them."

Mello squeezed his hand slightly. "I know. I wish I could make it better for you."

"You're here. That's enough," Matt said with a small sigh. He just tried not to think about how close they were, and how he had to control every muscle in his body not to lean forward just one more time. Mello's lips had never been so tempting – _no one's_ lips had ever been so tempting...

Matt forced himself to look away, knowing that if he stared into Mello's eyes for a second longer, he wouldn't be able to hold back. "M-Mello, can I ask you something...?" he said softly.

"Sure, what is it?" Mello asked.

"Have you ever...?" he began.

"Ever what?"

_Ever what?_ Matt repeated inside his head. _What exactly am I trying to ask him? If he's ever had feelings for another boy? If he has feelings for me? No, stupid – I can't ask him that. The obvious answer would be a no, and there's no point in embarrassing myself like that._ "Nothing, I just...wondered if you..." _Liked me? Would kiss me? _There were so many forms of the very question Matt was dying to ask, longing to know.

"If I...?"

Matt took a deep breath and looked back into Mello's eyes again. "I...I have to tell you something."

"Uh – okay...what is it?"

"You have to promise you won't laugh, or ... be grossed out, or whatever, okay?" Matt said.

Mello gave a small laugh. "Alright. Just tell me what it is!" he said.

Matt swallowed to get rid of the lump in his throat. "Mello, I..."

Before he could get the rest of the sentence out, a loud knocking came from the doorway and the two boys jumped off the couch immediately, as though they'd been electrocuted. It wasn't but a few moments later that Mello's parents came downstairs, looking just as shocked. In their hurry, they didn't even notice the two boys downstairs.

"What is this noise?" His father demanded, as the knocking on the door continued. He marched over to the door and wrenched it open. "WAS?!" he demanded.

Mello could feel Matt shrink beside him as his own parents walked into the room, looking furious.

"Cecilia..." Mello's mother began, looking concerned. "What's the matter?"

"Where is our son?" Matt's father demanded.

"Mail? He isn't at home?"

"He left last night, and since this is the place he seems to always skip out to..." Cecilia said, enunciating the word 'place' with a certain distaste in her voice. "Seeing as he's so damn fond of that son of yours."

As if on que, Mello's parents swerved around, their eyes widening when they saw the two boys.

"Mihael, what is the meaning of this?!" his father demanded. "Why is Mail here?"

Before either of them had a chance to reply, Matt's mother had strode across the room and struck Matt sharply across the face. "Don't you ever leave the house without telling us, _ever!_" she said angrily in French, as Matt put a hand to his stinging cheek.

"Well maybe if you two didn't spend the whole time arguing, he wouldn't _want_ to leave!" Mello spat, and Matt looked at him in horror and fear.

"Why you little --!" Cecilia's hand raised in the air again, but Mello's mother grabbed her arm.

"Don't you dare raise a hand to my son," she said.

"Your _son_ is the reason that we barely see Mail anymore!" Cecilia cried furiously.

Mello opened his mouth to retort, but Matt quickly shushed him.

"Come on, Mail – we're leaving!" His mother grabbed his arm roughly and jerked him forward. "You're never to come here again, understand!?"

Matt's eyes widened in silent protest, but any words he might have said were never allowed, for his mother pulled him out the door.

* * *

第１１話　－　終


	12. Impulse

**It's funny, 'Impulse' is the title of a chapter scenario that I thought of putting in 'OBSESSION', but took out during editing...**

* * *

第１２話

"Impulse"

* * *

"Matt! Hey, Matt!" Mello finally managed to catch up to the other boy at the end of the hallway.

Matt only slightly acknowledged his presence. "Hey, Mello."

"I was worried, since your parents wouldn't let you call. Are you okay?"

"Fine," Matt said quietly.

Then Mello suddenly noticed a dark place on his arm, and another on his face. "Are those...bruises?" Mello said.

Matt quickly moved his arm from Mello's gaze, but he had no way of hiding the one that rested on his face. "It's nothing."

"Matt, I'm sorry. This is my fault."

"How is it _your_ fault?" Matt said bitterly. "I'm the one who skipped out."

"Yeah, but..."

"Just forget it."

Mello wanted to say more, but forced himself to hold his tongue. "So...there's a fair in town tomorrow night...I was thinking maybe we could go. You know – like every year?"

"I can't, sorry. My parents grounded me."

"Oh..." Mello's face fell slightly. "Well, maybe..."

"I'm sorry. I'll see you later, okay?" Matt said, and before Mello could say anything else, he had turned and disappeared down the other hallway.

* * *

Mello couldn't concentrate the entire day, which was extremely rare for him. Then again, he and Matt had never been fighting before – if it was even a fight. All the same, Matt's cold and distant attitude towards Mello bothered the other boy tremendously. Matt was usually so cheerful. Seeing him so down was unusual.

When the bell rang at the end of the day, Mello immediately found Matt at his locker.

"Hey, Matt. Um – you wanna walk home together?"

Matt didn't reply until he had shut his locker and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Sorry – my parents are picking me up."

"Oh, um...okay."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Without another word, Matt strode past him.

_What the HELL?_

* * *

**.:.The Next Night.:.**

Mello stood on the sidewalk, leaning up against the wall of a store. Matt hadn't called, or talked to him for a whole two days. He figured it was linked with his parents' reactions to finding him at Mello's house the other day, but surely Matt wouldn't have let something like that bother him...? It was almost as if he wanted nothing to do with the other boy now. It was definitely unlike him, and Mello was worried.

He watched the various people crowding around shops and rides, eating candy and laughing.

Being here just wasn't the same without Matt.

He gave a sigh and started to walk, prepared to go back to his house and eat junk food while watching crappy cartoons the entire night, sulking.

Then he saw someone walking towards him in the opposite direction.

"MATT!"

The other boy stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening as he saw Mello. Immediately, he turned and started walking quickly in the other direction.

"Hey!" Mello hurried to catch up with him. "I...thought you were grounded."

"I came with my parents."

"Oh, well...do you want to...?"

"Just leave me alone," Matt said.

"Wha..!? Hey! What did I ever do to you!?" Mello demanded, picking up his pace as Matt began to walk faster.

"Everything!" Matt said angrily.

"Wha...!?" Mello's mouth opened and closed in disbelief. "The hell!? Okay, okay...could you _please_ explain to me what I did, because I really have NO idea!" His expression became offended. "Why are you mad at me?"

"Why do you care!?" Matt spat, still walking.

"Why do I...?! Matt, you're my best friend! Of course I care if you're mad at me, especially if I don't know why!"

"Just go away!"

_I can't be around you. I can't see you. I can't look at you. All it does is bring up these feelings that I __**don't want to have!**__It will be easier if I just stay away from you... I can't control myself anymore, especially being so close to you all the time. I can't control what my heart and body both want from you... It hurts me too much to be near you, when these feelings are hidden so deep inside of me..._

"MATT!" Mello grabbed the other boy's hand, stopping him in his tracks. "What the HELL is wrong with you!?" His hurt expression had turned angry. "This isn't like you! Just tell me what's wrong!"

Matt desperately wanted to pull away from Mello, to turn back and never look at him again. But as soon as Mello's hand touched his, he immediately felt a surge of warmth through his body. His angry expression vanished and he stared at the other boy.

"Matt...talk to me, please. I want to know what's got you so upset." Mello's voice was softer now. "I'm worried about you."

"Why would you waste time worrying about me?" Matt said, looking down at the ground.

"Gods, do I have to repeat myself _again_, dammit!? You're my _best friend!_ Might I put an emphasis on the word _'best'_!" Mello gave an irritated sigh. "Why do you do this? Why do you always act like you mean absolutely nothing to me, when you know that isn't true!"

_I know I mean a lot to you Mello...but...you don't care about me in the way that I want you to. I know I shouldn't be angry about it, but...I don't just want to be your friend. I want to be so much more than that..._

"Shit," Mello said suddenly, looking up at the sky. "It's starting to rain."

Sure enough, moments later, soft droplets of water began to drip from the sky onto their heads.

"Come on," Mello pulled Matt into the closest empty alleyway, where the water was temporarily prevented from coming in. Once protected from the rain, Mello pulled himself up on the top of a dumpster and sat down. Not the most pleasant place to have a conversation, but – oh well. "Sit down," Mello ordered, and when Matt turned to sit on the opposite side of the alley, he added, "_Beside __**me**__."_

Matt nervously sat down beside the other boy, as far away from him as possible. Just when he wanted no physical contact from the other boy whatsoever, Mello was the one who was trying to get close. "What?"

"What did I do, Matt? Come on, just tell me! I'll never know how to fix it if I don't know what's wrong."

"Maybe you can't fix it," Matt said, looking out at the street, where more people were seeking shelter from the rain.

"All problems are fixable, if you try hard enough," Mello replied. "And I can at least try, can't I?"

"You don't understand."

"You're right, I _don't_ understand. But I _want_ to, Matt! I really want to understand you! But you're making it so hard..." Mello put a hand on the other boy's shoulder, and Matt immediately tensed up. Mello's brow furrowed in confusion. "Why don't you let me touch you anymore? Everytime I so much as lay a finger on you, you act like _that_. I mean, what is it? Do I smell bad or something?"

Matt couldn't help but laugh; he always hated the fact that Mello could make him laugh, even when he was furious – or – _trying _to be furious.

Mello smiled. "That's better. I like it when you smile."

This time, Matt looked at Mello. "When most people smile, it's only to hide what they're really feeling – you know."

"Matt, I hate it when you talk that way. It worries me."

The other boy gave a half-hearted laugh. "Sorry to be a nuisance."

"I didn't mean it like that..." Mello put a hand on his shoulder again, and turned the other boy to face him. "Won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," Matt said.

"Now you always try to pass your problems off as nothing! I know something's up, which is why you won't talk to me!" He squeezed Matt's shoulder slightly. "It isn't like you to not talk to me. And it isn't like you to tell me to go away, or to completely ignore me! You've been acting strange for days now, and it's worrying me. Please, just tell me what's wrong..."

Matt's eyes flashed slightly, and he took a deep breath. "Fine. You want to know what's wrong?"

"Yes!"

"You really want to know why I won't talk to you, and why I won't let you touch me?"

"_Yes!_" Mello insisted.

Matt could feel his palms sweating. "You won't like the answer."

"I don't care about the damn answer, I just wanna know what the hell is wrong with you!" Mello demanded. "Stop spouting off all of this shit about me not caring about you and that I shouldn't spend my time worrying. Because like it or not, Matt – I actually do care about you! And I'm not just going to sit around while you ignore me like we weren't even --!"

His sentence was abruptly cut short as Matt leaned forward, as though in a trance, and pressed their lips tightly together.

Mello could feel his heart skip a beat, and the heat immediately rushed to his face. Then...he closed his eyes. Without even thinking about what he was doing, he kissed Matt back, recapturing their lips as they both parted slightly.

It was then that Matt pulled away, looking at Mello in both regret and shame. Before Mello could do or say anything, Matt had jumped down and disappeared into the street.

* * *

第１２話　－　終

**REVIEW!!**


	13. Speechless

第１３話

"Speechless"

* * *

Mello sighed to himself as he sat in the shower, the hot water beating against his back. He'd lost track of how long he'd been in there, all he knew was that he didn't feel like getting out. If he did, he might actually have to face what had happened between him and Matt.

He slowly brought a finger to his lips and touched them softly, remembering how it had felt to have Matt's own lips pressed against his. _Why the hell did Matt do something like that...? And, the scariest part isn't that he kissed me...it's that...I kissed him back... _

But, he hadn't really known what he was doing. He had been shocked, hadn't he? Wasn't his reaction perfectly natural?

Mello gave another sigh. Matt hadn't been over all weekend, and hadn't called – though Mello had a feeling that it was his own choice, this time, and not his parents'. It slightly irritated him; after what Matt had done, he could at least have the nerve to call and explain. But instead, he had run away without so much as two words!

Mello was afraid to think about what he'd felt when Matt had kissed him; what he shouldn't have felt. Why hadn't he pulled away as soon as it happened? Isn't that what any normal guy would have done? But he had kissed Matt too, without even thinking about it – as though it was the most natural thing in the world. And...it had felt like that most natural thing, too – and Mello knew that it shouldn't be that way. Why had it felt so natural? Because Matt was his best friend? Because they'd always been close? Or because...?

He refused to acknowledge this possible fact. There was no way he could...no way...He put a hand to his head and bowed his head in the water. It would do good to just forget.

The kiss, he was sure he could forget if he wanted to.

But Matt...Matt was another matter.

* * *

On Monday morning, Mello could feel his heart racing as he approached the school. What would he say to Matt if he saw him? How would he act? How _should_ he act? Would Matt even want to talk to him now? So many questions arose in his head, almost causing dizziness.

When he got inside the main lobby, he looked around, but Matt was nowhere in sight. Then again, he _was_ usually late. Mello figured he'd see him in first period anyway.

But Matt didn't show up for first period. He didn't show up all day. Even for a slacker like Matt, it wasn't like him to skip school.

He thought about asking some of the other boys if they knew where he might be, but he knew full well that he was the only one who should have any idea of where Matt was; and since he didn't, Mello knew the other boys wouldn't either. So he gave up, and drifted through the day, not really concentrating on his classes. Concentration had become near impossible for him now, especially with the events of the other night replaying in his head like a movie reel. From start to finish, and every time...every time, he didn't mind the image. The question now was why he wanted to see Matt so badly in the first place. Shouldn't Matt be the last person he wanted to see after what happened? Then again, they were friends...he figured it was natural to want to talk to him about this, especially since it would probably affect their friendship in some sort of way.

* * *

When Mello got home, he slung his bag down in the front hallway, and prepared to go up the stairs – and call the other boy to confront him. But just as soon as he had one foot on the bottom of the stairs, he heard his father call him from in the hallway.

"Mihael, get in here!"

Startled slightly, Mello jumped up and went to the kitchen, where his mother and father were sitting down at the table, their faces serious. The phone was resting in his mother's hands, as though she had just gotten off of the line with someone.

"Wh-what is it?" Mello said.

"Sit down," his mother instructed gently, gesturing to a chair beside her.

Obeying, Mello took a seat and then looked from one parent to the other. "What is it? Did something happen?"

"Mihael, there's something you should know..." his mother began, her face troubled as it always was when she didn't know how to explain something, or tell him something. She'd had the same look on her face when he'd asked her what the word 'sex' meant.

"What?" Mello pressed.

His mother sighed and took a deep breath. "It's about Mail's parents."

"Wha..?" Mello could feel his heart skip slightly. "What about them?"

His parents exchanged a glance, and then his mother looked back at him, apparently trying to bring up the subject as gently as possible. "They're in jail."

"Jail!?" Mello repeated. "But..why?!"

"Drug possession. Apparently they've been selling to make money and pay off their debts," his mother replied.

"But...what about...?" He couldn't force out the other boy's name for some reason.

"I don't know," his mother said, knowing what he was trying to ask. "But...it isn't your concern anymore."

"Wha..? What do you mean it isn't...?" Mello could feel his face pale.

His mother opened her mouth, and then closed it, looking at her husband for explanation.

Mello followed her gaze, staring at his father, who he knew wouldn't be hesitant to tell him the answer.

"We don't want you around him anymore," his father said bluntly. "Children always are influenced by the parents, and if his parents threw some stupid stunt like this one, there's no telling what he'll do in a few years. You are forbidden to see him anymore."

Mello could feel his heart sink, his whole body growing numb as his father's words sank in like a poison. "Wh-what?"

"He's not the type of boy that we want you hanging around with. You should make new friends anyway, he's hardly a good influence."

"B-but...You can't do that!" Mello cried, looking to his mother for help.

"I'm sorry, Mihael. But I agree with your father." She gave him an apologetic smile.

Mello looked from his father to his mother again in disbelief. Then his expression turned angry. "You...I...I HATE YOU!" he screamed, turning and disappearing upstairs, slamming his door as hard as he could when he reached his room and went inside.

He threw himself down on the bed and breathed deeply in the sheets. How could this be happening? And at a time like this! Just when he needed to see Matt the most, he was forbidden to! It figured.

That night, whenever his parents knocked on his door, Mello yelled at them to go away. For some reason, he felt so dreadfully alone. Without Matt, he didn't really have anyone. He'd never been interested in making friends with the other boys. His parents were crazy to think he could just stop being Matt's friend!

Mello could feel tears spring into his eyes at the thought of never seeing the other boy again. Matt was all he had, all he'd ever had – all he _wanted_ to have...

If it wasn't clear before, Mello couldn't deny it any longer. He was just as in love with the other boy as Matt obviously was with him.

* * *

When Mello opened his eyes again, it was dark out.

Giving a yawn, he wiped the tearstains from his face and sat up in bed. He must have fallen asleep.

"Shit." He ran a hand through his hair, giving a sigh.

He went into the bathroom and filled the tub with lukewarm water, slipping inside as soon as it filled high enough, sinking down in the water and closing his eyes.

_Knock, knock._

"The hell...?" Mello opened his eyes. "Don't tell me...?" he stood up and wrapped a towel around his waist, walking back in his room to see what was making the noise.

Pulling back the curtains on the window as the knocking persisted, Mello's eyes widened as he saw Matt standing on the other side of the glass. Was this a dream? He pulled open the window and Matt climbed inside, promptly falling flat on the floor as he did so. When he stood up, Mello stared, in a complete daze. He couldn't even distinguish the feeling of relief flooding his body at the sight of the other boy. Before Matt could even say anything as to explain his sudden appearance, Mello promptly threw his arms around the other boy's neck, burying his face in Matt's shoulder.

"M-Mello...?"

"I'm sorry, Matt! My parents heard about yours, and they said that I can't see you anymore!" Mello threatened to collapse in a fit of sobs.

Matt gently returned the embrace, pulling Mello close against him. "I know. I'm sorry...it'll be okay."

Mello pulled away from Matt and wiped his eyes, the both of them blushing as they realized that Mello was in nothing but a towel. Matt quickly averted his gaze elsewhere.

"Listen, Matt..." Mello began. "The other night, when you...kissed me...?"

Matt's face turned a deep shade of pink. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to!"

Mello laughed slightly. "You didn't mean to _kiss_ me?"

"No, I – I didn't."

"Then why did you?"

"B-because, I..." Matt stared down at the floor, his voice caught in the back of his throat.

"Matt, what is it? Why, just tell me." Mello put a hand on his shoulder, and Matt immediately jumped back, startled by the unexpected physical contact.

"Because I...I can't control myself when I'm that close to you!" Matt cried.

"Huh? When you're that...?" Mello let his hand drop to his side.

"Yes! I...I keep wanting to do things like that when I'm around you. And..e-every time you touch me, I think about it and I..." he shook his head. "None of it is casual anymore! I have to watch myself all the time!" tears began to fill his eyes, and his voice shook. "I...I...I l-love you, Mello!" he sobbed. "I love you in the way that I really shouldn't!"

As he began to sob harder, Mello's shocked expression vanished, and he took the other boy in his arms, feeling Matt tense as soon as he did so. "It's alright, Matt." he stroked the other boy's hair. "I...I actually kind of guessed that you might like me that way. I just didn't say anything about it, because I didn't want you to be embarrassed..."

"Y-you knew?" Matt said, looking into Mello's eyes, his own filled with horror.

Mello smiled, and gently touched his fingertips to Matt's face. "Don't worry – I...think it's sweet," he admitted.

"But...I suppose you like girls anyway, right?" Matt said. "So it doesn't matter, really..."

"Well...I actually don't know about that..." Mello said, giving a small laugh. "No girl has ever really... turned me on, so to speak. So I really don't know about that..."

Matt was silent, unable to form any words that would express his surprise. It was so painful, having the prospect of Mello right in front of him, and too afraid -too unsure- to act upon his own feelings. His heart seemed to ache with the desire to wrap his arms around Mello and press their lips together once more. Tears slipped out of his eyes and he hastily wiped them away. Never in a million years had he expected Mello's casual response to the whole thing. All this time, Matt had thought -been terrified- that Mello would freak; not about him liking boys in general (which in truth, Mello was the only boy he had ever liked), but about the fact that the boy Matt liked was _him_. Yet, here he was, standing in front of Mello after having admitted everything, and the other boy was still holding him lovingly in his arms the same way he'd always done. There was no trace of repulsion or shock on his friend's face. Only sympathy, and concern.

"So how long have you wanted to kiss me?" Mello asked.

"Um...how long? Uh...about three years..." Matt blushed a deep red.

A small smile tugged at the corners of Mello's mouth. "I guess I should've realized it sooner, huh?"

"No, I...it's not like I was aiming for you _to_ realize it..."

"Then why did you kiss me, if you didn't want me to know?" Mello asked.

"Because, I..." Matt took a deep breath. "When I'm that close to you, I can't help myself! That's why I wanted to stay away, because I knew if I didn't, then I would end up...doing that. And I knew you'd freak, so I..." he trailed off.

"Well I haven't freaked yet, have I?"

"So it...doesn't bother you? You aren't creeped out? Because, if it creeps you out – and you don't want to hang around me anymore, I really will understand..." he looked towards the floor.

"No, it doesn't creep me out... And of course I still want to hang around you! You're a wonderful person to be around."

"I...really?" Matt said, looking back up at Mello with surprise lighting his face.

"Of course." Mello wiped the tear stains from the other boy's face. "And besides, I..." A small blush found its way to his face. "I have something to tell you."

"Wh-what?" Matt said, hardly daring to hope.

Mello leaned forward, his lips brushing against Matt's ear as he whispered, "I...want to kiss you, too."

Immediately, Matt could practically feel his heart stop. Those were the last words Matt had ever expected to come out out of Mello's mouth. He could never have imagined it...

He stayed rooted to the spot, almost in shock, staring up at the other boy. There were no words to express what he was feeling; a mixture of every emotion possible.

For a few minutes, he didn't know what to say.

"Are you... are you serious?" he managed to stammer at last.

Mello took a moment, but he looked sure of himself when he nodded.

"But you... I mean, you never really..." Matt was at a loss for words. "I just...I never thought that you..." He finally gave up trying to speak, and simply closed his mouth.

"If you want, I could prove it to you," Mello suggested.

"Proove...? Proove?! Do you...mean...?"

"Well, yeah..."

"But you..." Matt began. "I mean, are you sure about it? Because, if you think you're obligated to, then really you know...you don't have to. I-I'll understand. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to j-just because..." His sentence was cut short as Mello gently put a finger to his lips.

"I'm sure, Matt. Don't doubt me, I'm okay with this," Mello assured him, slowly guiding him to sit on the bed.

Matt had never felt so nervous in his life. Even though they'd technically already kissed -twice, if Matt counted the one time Mello didn't know about- he was still shaking uncontrollably. He'd dreamed about this moment for _years_, and it was finally happening... It was almost too good to believe.

It took Matt a moment to realize that Mello hadn't moved. "Wha..? Oh!! You expect me too...?!"

"You seemed to have no trouble the other night," Mello informed him.

"Well that was...different!" Matt said. "I..." How was he supposed to do this?

"Just relax," Mello instructed. "Besides, it's not like I'll scream or anything." He gave an amused roll of the eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Matt started to mentally prepare himself. Slowly, he leaned forward, his heart thudding harder with every inch closer he came to Mello's lips.

As their lips finally touched, Matt closed his eyes and resisted the impulse to give a contented sigh. Mello's lips tasted even better when he was awake, if that was possible.

After a moment, Matt remembered exactly what he was doing, and he pulled back, looking at Mello's face – searching for a reaction. The other boy was blushing slightly, but his face showed know sign of regret. "Just...tell me if there's anything you don't like, okay?" Matt told him. "You can just tell me to stop, if you aren't comfortable with..."

Before the rest of his sentence was out of his mouth, Mello had pulled him forward and recaptured their lips even harder.

Instead of pulling away this time, Matt wrapped his arms around Mello's neck and deepened the kiss. "I love you, Mello," he whispered. "I love you so much..."

"I know," Mello whispered back.

As if subconsciously, Matt's hand traveled down to Mello's waist as their kiss became even more intimate. "Shit!" he pulled away. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Even though Mello had felt a shiver run up his spine when Matt had touched him there, it had been a good feeling. "Don't stop," Mello said. "It's okay."

Trembling slightly, Matt kissed him again, focusing on keeping his hands away from the areas he so desperately wanted to touch. Before he even realized it, he was on top of Mello, his mouth pressed against the other boy's neck, his tongue tasting flesh.

As Matt felt Mello's hands running along his bare skin up under his shirt, he gave a pleasurable shiver. The other boy's hand reached up to his face, this time, stroking his cheek in a way that made Matt close his eyes and mewl. Then Mello's hand moved down to his neck, stroking his shoulder, and forcing another whimper out of Matt. Every touch was driving Matt crazy.

"Sh-shit..." Matt sat up, panting. "We have to s-stop. Ah...h..."

"Matt, we both know that neither of us wants to stop," Mello said, slightly breathless, his face flushed.

"You don't get it, I can't..." Matt bit his lip. "If we go any farther, I won't be able to stop..."

"Who says I want you to?"

"But..."

Mello put a finger to his lips to silence him. "Haven't you always wanted to try it?"

"Y-yeah, but..."

"Then what's stopping you?"

"Do you have any idea what you're asking me to do?" Matt said, his voice breathless. Mello could practically hear the pounding of the other boy's heart.

"I know what 'sex' means, okay?" He gave a dull roll of the eyes.

"How can you be so casual about it?" Matt asked. "Like it's no big deal?"

"I'm just giving you the choice. Don't think you have to stop because of me."

"I don't think that."

"Then why are you stopping?"

Matt's eyes darkened, and he roughly brought their lips together again. As though instinctively, he slipped his hand inside the towel Mello was wearing, touching him directly.

"Ah..ah..." Mello arched a little, his hands clenching around the material of Matt's shirt.

Matt watched the other boy's reaction carefully, before rubbing slightly harder, earning another small moan from the other boy. "I-is that okay?" Matt asked.

Unable to form any words, Mello simply nodded, begging Matt to go on. Matt quickly complied, closing his hand around the other boy's already-hardened member and giving it a small stroke.

"Ah...sh-shit..." Mello gripped Matt's shirt tighter and squeezed his eyes shut.

_Damn...he got turned-on quick...I never realized he felt the same way I did..._ Matt pressed his lips to Mello's neck, and the other boy shivered. _The reaction I've always wanted to see out of him..._ As more moans and gasps came from beneath him, Matt began to rub himself against the other boy, biting his lip as the pressure began to build inside of him. What the hell was he doing?

"M-Matt..." Mello gasped, digging his nails into the other boy's shoulder. "Ah...nn...ah..." He tried to stay silent, still somewhat concious of the fact that his parents were just down the hallway.

Matt secretly loved the noises he was receiving; they only aroused him more, made him more anxious to continue. He knew that he couldn't stop now, he was too far ahead of himself. Mello's voice whispering his name was like a drug to him. A sweet poison... He rubbed against Mello harder, his mind hazy and his breathing heavy. He yelped a little as Mello's nails dug harder into his shoulder, but ignored the slight pain as his hand squeezed and stroked the other boy, leaving the both of them breathless.

"Ahh...! M-Matt...I ..." Mello gasped. "Ah...I...I think I'm going to...!" He wrapped his arms around Matt's neck, pulling the other boy close against him as he shuddered violently, and the next moment Matt could feel something warm between his fingers.

That was all it took for Matt to reach his limit, and next moment his hands tightened around the sheets as he felt himself come shortly after. It was amazing, that simply rubbing against Mello had given him so much pleasure. He hardly dared to think of what anything else would do to him.

When both boys were finished, Matt raised up and looked into Mello's eyes. They were wide, shocked, and his breathing was light but rapid.

"Wh-what the hell d-did we just do?" Mello said, terrified by the satisfaction he had received from the act.

"Wha...well...w-we didn't really 'do' anything, I mean..." Matt suddenly found his own breathing quavering. "That didn't really count...as..."

"Y-yeah," Mello said, taking a small breath. "W-we didn't do anything." He nodded, though unconvincingly. "But...what _did_ we do, then?"

Matt sat up on the bed, wiping his hand off on the sheets. "I uh – don't really know what that classifies as."

Mello didn't either, though the words 'assisted masturbation' came to mind.

"M-Matt, do you...?"

"Hm?" Matt turned to look at the other boy, who was sitting up.

Blushing a little, Mello reached over and took Matt's hand in his own. "We both wanted it, though, right?"

"Y-yeah, we did." That was the thought that scared Matt the most. Just thinking about it was one thing, but actually doing it was a completely different matter.

"Did you..." Mello took a deep breath. "...like it?"

"Uh..." Matt's face turned a bright red. "Y-yeah, I did..." _A lot._

"M-me too," Mello said, squeezing Matt's hand.

"So what does this mean? What are we?"

"Why do we have to think of a term to describe it?" Mello smiled slightly. "I don't think any words _can_ describe it."

"So what are you thinking now?" Matt asked quietly.

Mello's smile widened. "I'm thinking that I love you."

"Really? We think alike, then." Matt smiled back and leaned forward to kiss the other boy, but then held back.

Realizing Matt's hesitation, Mello abruptly grabbed the front of Matt's shirt and pressed their lips together.

Matt was blushing when Mello parted from him.

"Don't hesitate to do what you're feeling," Mello said. "Just do it."

Slowly, Matt nodded. "A-alright." Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around Mello and buried his face in the other boy's chest.

As though reading Matt's thoughts, Mello returned the embrace and ran his fingers through the other boy's hair. "Ich leibe dich," he murmured, his voice almost a song.

"Je t'aime," came Matt's muffled voice. "Mello...will you always stay with me?"

"Of course," Mello whispered, tightening his arms around Matt.

They both fell back against the pillows and Matt secured his arm around Mello, taking the other boy's hand and lacing their fingers together. "I should go before your parents come in," he said.

"I don't want you to leave," Mello protested.

"I'll be back tomorrow night, I promise."

Mello turned over to face the other boy, pouting slightly, but then his expression became serious. "Where are you staying?"

Matt avoided his gaze. "Don't worry about me. I'll be here tomorrow, okay?"

"Alright." Mello sighed and let go of Matt as the other boy slid out of bed, however desperately he didn't want the other boy to leave him.

"Bye." Matt gave a small wave as he swung a leg out the window.

"Bye..." Mello watched as the other boy disappeared outside, leaving the window open behind him.

Mello didn't feel like getting up, but knew he must look a sight. So with a heavy sigh, he stood up and trudged into the bathroom, knowing he probably wouldn't be able to sleep through the night.

* * *

第１３話　－　終

**So, REVIEW, what did you think?**


	14. Secrets

* * *

**I feel kind of weird using the titles of one of my fanfictions as a chapter title...(haha...)**

**Sorry it's so short...**

* * *

第１４話

"Secrets"

* * *

The next day, Mello was surprised to see Matt back at school. The other boy greeted him with the usual cheerful hello, waiting at Mello's locker while he got his books.

"Morning." Mello blushed a little as he stood up and faced the other boy.

Matt's face turned a light pink as well, realizing the awkwardness that was now between them.

"So um...care if I come over tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah, just make sure my parents don't see you."

"Got it." Matt smiled a little.

"Last night...seems like a dream to me," Mello confided.

"Yeah, me too," Matt admitted. "My thoughts weren't really clear, and it wasn't really something I do every day..."

"Me neither."

"Do you...feel any differently about me now?" Matt asked.

Mello turned to look at him, thinking long and hard about his answer. "No, I don't think I do." He smiled. "I have the same feelings as I did last night."

A small breath of something that sounded like relief came from Matt. "Me too," he replied.

"I won't lie...and say it isn't awkward, though..."

"Yeah..." Matt laughed. "But I suppose it's that way with any two people after...you know."

"True... And anyway, we'll be the only ones that know about this... Right?"

"Of course," Matt said, and then shifted awkwardly. "I don't want to think about what the other boys would say if they knew about it..."

"Agreed." The smiled appeared on Mello's face again. "I'll see you later, then, okay?"

"'Kay."

The two boys headed in their separate ways, both with thoughts full of each other.

* * *

For two weeks, that was how things were. Matt would come to Mello's room – well, window – every night. They wouldn't do any more than just touch and kiss, though both secretly longed for more.

Every night, Matt would leave, before they got too tired and fell asleep. But he never told Mello where he was living; it was one of the topics Matt deemed 'off limits' and wasn't important. Mello finally lost curiosity after a while, realizing that Matt would never tell him. But Mello did notice that every night that Matt came by, the other boy looked thinner, and more exhausted than the previous night. Mello never said anything, however, figuring that Matt wouldn't tell him what was up with _that _either.

* * *

One night, after they had finished, and Matt was preparing to leave, Mello noticed something sticking out of the corner of Matt's jacket, which was laying on the window seat.

"Hey, what's this...?"

Just as Mello reached for it, Matt grabbed the jacket up off the window seat. "Uh, don't touch that!" he said, his face turning slightly pale.

"The hell – what are you hiding!?" Mello swiped for the jacket, and gave it a tug, at the same time Matt pulled it away. The force of the tug on both parts caused something to fall out of the pocket and land with a thud on the floor.

Mello stared at what was on the ground, his eyes widening. "Why do you have that?" he demanded, looking back up at Matt just as the other boy snatched it up from the floor

"I took it from my father's closet. In case I needed it."

"Why would you need a _gun_?" Mello said.

When Matt didn't reply, Mello grabbed his arm. "Matt, what aren't you telling me!? Where are you living?!"

"Don't worry about it," Matt said. "I can take care of myself."

Without another word, he was out of the window.

Mello stayed rooted to the spot for a few minute, before going and crawling back under the covers of his bed.

Unable to sleep, he simply laid awake, staring up at the ceiling. He would be lying if he said he wasn't worried; Matt hardly left his mind at all lately, especially with recent events. Matt had always confided in him, though, yet lately the other boy hadn't told him anything...

* * *

第１４話　－　終

**Thanks for all the reviews last time, guys! Keep it up! ;)**


	15. Concupiscence

第１５話

"Concupiscence"

* * *

Gradually, after the first couple of weeks, the two boys began to go farther, experimenting, testing their limits. Matt would constantly tease Mello, who couldn't hold out for more than a minute. On the other hand, Mello would make fun of Matt, who would become turned on within just seconds of intimate kissing. Between the two boys, it was clear whose body was the most sensitive.

Every night, Mello wished that Matt could stay through the night, so that he wouldn't have to sleep alone.

But Mello knew that one mistake, one slip-up, and it would all be over.

* * *

"A..h...M-Matt..."

Mello looked up into the other boy's face, the both of them panting like crazy, and long since turned-on to the point of pain.

"What is i-it?" Matt said, his face a deep shade of pink, his breath hot against Mello's face.

"I-I think I'm...ready," Mello said, taking a deep breath.

"Wha...are you sure about that?" Matt said.

It was true that the two of them had been working towards this moment, but every time they had chickened out and stuck with the basic stuff.

"Yeah..." Mello's voice was shaking, but his eyes were sincere. "I am."

Matt looked him directly in the eyes, his expression serious. "It hurts, you know."

Mello rolled his eyes slightly. "Duh, I know that. I-it'll be fine..." he breathed, smiling. "I trust you."

Although looking uncertain about the whole thing, Matt obeyed Mello's wishes and leaned forward, bringing their lips together again, his hands working skillfully at the other boy's pants.

Both boys were already shaking all over. Just the thought of what they were about to do made them terrified.

"Are you sure about it?" Matt whispered. "You're shaking."

"Yes," Mello nodded. "I'm sure." Though he only began to shake more as Matt gently pushed him down on his back, his mouth moving to his neck, breath hot against his skin.

"We can stop if you want," Matt told him. "Really."

"Shut up, I said it was fine!" Mello said. "Really."

Taking a deep breath and shaking his head at the other boy's stubbornness, Matt continued.

Matt spread Mello's legs and stared for a moment at the sight before him. Slowly, he lifted the other boy up and began to stretch him with his fingers.

Mello gripped the sheets, moaning a little as his friend began to satisfy his curiosity. "Ah..hh...M-Matt..."

"This...I already said it...was going to hurt," Matt whispered, as his fingers began to go deeper. He saw the other boy bite his lip in an effort to contain his voice. "Just relax..." he urged softly. Matt was surprised at how warm Mello was inside it; he had often fantasized about what it would be like, but never had he imagined that it would make his heart beat so.

Gently removing his hand, he looked into Mello's face, which was almost drained of color. The other boy was breathing quickly, the result of how anxious he was.

"Just relax," Matt coaxed, positioning himself against Mello and beginning to work his way inside.

He heard Mello yelp, and immediately pulled away, looking back up at the other boy.

"Sorry," Mello said, taking a deep breath. He was shaking all over.

"Hm..." Matt looked around the room. "Do you have baby oil or something? It'd make it a hell of a lot easier."

"W-why the hell would I h-have baby oil...?" Mello said, still breathing heavily.

"Don't tell me you haven't used it before," Matt teased. "Masturbieren?" he added in German, purely for Mello's reaction.

"Ugh, you're sick!" Mello shot him a disgusted glare, and Matt grinned.

"Just joking. Guess we'll have to do without." Matt gently put a hand to Mello's face and stroked the soft skin of his cheek. "It'll hurt for a minute, but I promise I'll be easy. Just trust me, alright?" he said.

Slowly, Mello nodded, gripping Matt's hand as he felt the pressure inside of him again.

"A..h..." He let out another small yelp, and wrapped his arms tightly around Matt's neck, willing himself to be still. "N...it hurts..." he gasped, unable to make words form; he was using all his concentration to focus on something other than the pain.

"I know – but it'll feel better, I promise," Matt whispered in his ear, working himself gently inside the rest of the way.

Mello managed to keep quiet as the pressure inside of him began to grow; his hands gripped the sheets as tightly as humanly possible. One word, and it would stop, he knew. But at the same time it nearly split him wide open, he wanted it to continue. Despite the pain, there was a certain pleasure threatening to explode within him.

Once Matt had worked his way completely inside, he relaxed and rested his forehead on Mello's shoulder, panting. He knew that he probably wouldn't hold out long, that he couldn't – not the way he felt now. Slowly, he began to shift inside; he knew there was a place, one place that he could hit that would bring more pleasure to everything. He could hear Mello gasping beneath him, willing himself to withstand it.

"Ah...h...Gods..." Mello winced slightly and dug his nails into Matt's back, which was already marked all over from previous acts.

"Sh...just relax, it'll feel – better in a minute," Matt gasped, still moving within him. Oddly enough, he slightly knew how to do this; years of reading various adult novels had indeed helped him learn a bit more about this type of thing than he would have otherwise.

Matt must have reached whatever place it was, because next second he heard Mello gasp again, but not out of pain. It was more of a moan than a yelp.

"Ah...M-Matt..." he tightened his arms around the other boy's neck. "..Again..." he gasped.

Obeying, Matt shifted forward again, in the same spot, and heard the same noise again. He continued this motion, until he felt Mello slowly go harder beneath him. Immediately, his hand traveled down to Mello's waist and he closed his hand tightly around the other boy's member. Squeezing it hard, he pulled and stroked Mello until his friend was gasping for breath.

"A...h...ahhh...God, Matt...ahh...nnh...ah..."

With every stroke, Mello tightened around Matt's own member, and both boys lost themselves in the pleasure that the other was giving them.

A few moments later, Matt could feel the familiar warmth run into his hand. Before he even had time to grasp what had happened, he was desperately searching for something to hold on to as his own orgasm overtook him; he shuddered against the other boy as he released himself inside, panting. Pleasure he'd never experienced before coursed through his veins.

Mello cried out a little as Matt pulled out, and as he looked up into the other boy's face, he felt tears welling in his eyes. He didn't know why he was crying, or what he felt. The tears progressed down his face, and he gave a small sob.

"..? Is something wrong?" Matt asked, brushing the hair away from Mello's face.

Mello shook his head and pulled Matt down closer. "No, I..." Unable to think of words to describe his mixed up feelings, he simply pressed his lips against Matt's and closed his eyes.

Although surprised, Matt didn't reject the other boy's kiss; he looked into Mello's shining blue eyes as the other boy drew back and wiped his eyes. "What is it?" Matt asked.

Though the tears were still streaming down his face, Mello smiled. "I love you, Matt."

Matt laughed. "I know that." He kissed him back. "I love you, too."

"Stay for a while," Mello said, his voice pleading.

Although hesitant, Matt laid down beside Mello and the two of them snuggled under the covers, Mello's arms wound tightly around the other boy. Suddenly, it felt as though the energy was drained out of both of them. Matt's fingers weakly tangled themselves in Mello's blond hair, as he sighed deeply.

Feeling himself drifting off, Mello tightened his arms around the other boy and closed his eyes. "You're warm..." he muttered.

Matt laughed slightly, but then his expression became serious. "I have to go," he said, giving a small sigh coupled with a yawn.

"No..." Mello moaned slightly. "Please, just stay a little longer," he pleaded.

Matt sighed again, but nonetheless, remained in the bed, his body pressed close against Mello's. He was suddenly so exhausted. He knew it wasn't a good idea, he knew he should leave. "Mello, I..." But the words he was going to say never left his mouth as he drifted off to sleep, Mello following shortly after.

* * *

第１５話　－　終

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**I was really experimenting myself with this chapter: practicing my Yaoi-writing :)**

**This is actually one of my earliest 'yaoi' scenes...(it was written long before I ever wrote any other ones, with the intention of using it in my fanfiction sometime )**

**It was their first time – so they were both pretty much scared out of their wits... **

**This scene was originally written different, but I changed it a bit. **

**After writing this scene, I'm beginning to wonder what actually happened to make Mello start treating Matt like a piece of dirt... I guess it was just an over-time thing to do with Near. It's obvious Mello treated him better before. The huge difference in their relationship in "OBSESSION" compared to this fic really does baffle me...**

**But here's a fact: Matt is better as seme. **

**(haha) no really! It's something I realized after re-reading some of my scenes... He seems to know more about what he's doing than Mello does. But that's because Mello has been sheltered his whole life, and Matt hasn't (which is kind of obvious when Matt mentions the 'masturbieren' part...). Seems logical enough...? Maybe I'm wrong?**

**As for the title, anyone know what it means? (just use a dictionary if you don't)**


	16. Run

第１６話

"Run"

* * *

_"It's such a shame..."_

_"Yes, and it happened so fast..."_

Mello opened his eyes as he heard the voices outside in the hallway. He blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the sudden brightness.

_Sunlight...?_

" SCHEIßE!" he jumped up in bed, and roughly shook awake the boy beside him. "Matt!" he hissed. "Get up!"

"Hm..?" The other boy rolled over and opened his eyes, laying still for a minute until finally realizing where he was. "SHIT!" He jumped up in a fashion identical to Mello. "We fell asleep!"

"Obviously!" Mello hissed. "Now be quiet! My parents are talking right down the hall."

As if on que, the voices grew louder, as the footsteps of his parents came closer to the door.

"Scheiße! Scheiße!" Mello's eyes darted around the room. "In the bathroom!" he whispered, shoving Matt out of the bed. "Go!"

The door to the bathroom closed just as the bedroom door opened.

Mello's parents walked in the room, looking slightly uneasy.

"Good morning," Mello said, trying to control his breathing and act natural. He prayed they wouldn't discover Matt's clothes in the bed.

"Um, Mihael... there's something you should know..." his mother began.

"What?"

"It's...about Mail's parents..." she said uneasily.

Mello could feel his face pale. "Wh-what about them? Did they get out of jail already?"

"...no." His parents exchanged a glance. "Mihael...they...they're dead," his mother answered softly.

Mello's heart skipped a beat. "They...what?" he gasped, his head starting to swim.

"I'm sorry," his mother said. "It happened very quick."

Mello opened his mouth, but no words came out.

His mother gave a sigh. "I'm really sorry..." she reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder, but he angrily shrugged it off.

"Just leave me alone," he said.

A pained look crossed his mother's face, but she finally stood up and left the room with his father.

As soon as his parents' footsteps faded down the hallway, Mello jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, flinging the door open. "Matt, I --!"

But Matt was already staring, pale-faced, at Mello, his eyes wide and filled with tears. Mello immediately realized that Matt had managed to understand the German conversation.

"Oh, Matt..." he said. "I-I'm so sorry..."

Matt seemed to stay frozen in shock for a few minutes. He seemed as speechless as Mello.

Wordlessly, Mello walked over and took the other boy in his arms just as Matt collapsed into a fit of sobs. He wrapped his arms around Mello and buried his face in his chest, shaking.

"I'm sorry," Mello whispered. "I'm sorry..." He tightened his hold around Matt and held him close. "I'm so sorry..."

* * *

That night, Matt didn't show up. Mello figured it was only to be expected after what had happened, but it still worried him sick not knowing where the other boy was. He was unable to sleep that night, therefore he was exhausted the next day at school – where Matt didn't show up, either. Having no idea where the other boy was, Mello was forced to wait until he came back – which wasn't until a week later.

* * *

"Matt!" Mello immediately stopped the other boy in his tracks as they went outside to walk home. "You're back at school."

"Yeah," Matt turned and smiled slightly.

"I'm glad. I was really worried about you when you didn't show up for so long."

The two of them walked over to the sidewalk and stood to talk, while everyone else filed past them going their separate ways.

"Sorry if I worried you – I had to sort some things out. But everything's okay now." He gave his usual bright, cheery smile. "What about you?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. About the same. Much better now that you're here." Mello smiled. "Are you coming over tonight?"

"Are you kidding? Of course I am!" Matt replied.

"Alright. I'll see --" He stopped in mid-sentence, his expression turning to sudden horror as he stared past Matt, at someone walking up to the school.

"Na?" Matt noticed his expression and turned to look in the same direction, his own face turning a pale ghostly color as he saw what Mello was looking at.

Neither of the boys had time to walk away from each other, before Mello's parents had approached the entrance of the school, standing right in front of them. "Mihael!" His father said angrily. "What do you think you're doing?"

Mello blushed and looked down at the floor. "N-nothing."

His father looked at Matt, and the other boy practically shrunk with fear.

Why were his parents at the school? Mello looked around for any sort of answer, but could find no explanation for their sudden appearance. Unless...

He took a deep breath. "I can explain about the report card."

Glaring down at him, his father brandished the paper angrily. "Damn right you're going to explain! There is NO excuse for this! Then again, hanging around with," -he shot a glance at Matt- "people like _this_, I suppose it's to be expected," he said disapprovingly.

"It isn't his fault!" Mello said. "It's _my_ grades, he has nothing to do with it!" Though the truth was, he had stopped caring so much about his grades since he and Matt had been together.

"Nonetheless, I believe I plainly told you that you aren't to consort with him! Did I not?" His father questioned.

"Y-yes, yes..."

His father raised a hand to hit him, but his mother gently laid a hand on his shoulder, and he seemed to calm down. Taking a deep, angry breath, Mello's father grabbed his arm. "We're leaving. We'll talk to your teachers about this later."

As they walked away, Mello's father turned back to Matt. "Don't you come near my son again."

* * *

That night, Matt didn't show up again.

Mello wasn't really surprised; after his dad's death glare towards the other boy, he expected Matt would never talk to him again.

Sleep escaped him again that night, his thoughts too full to drift off. He kept thinking of Matt, and where he was, and if he was alright. Mello still didn't know where the other boy was living; Matt never had told him. This thought worried him as much as it irritated him that Matt had some part of his life that Mello wasn't at liberty to know.

His parents had been so furious about the grades on his report card, that Mello had been confined to his room until furthur notice; he wasn't even allowed to go to school, mostly since Matt was there. He had the small inkling that his parents were searching for another school, but he never voiced his concerns to them. He stayed in his room, sulking, wondering if the best solution would be to just run away with Matt the next time he saw him.

But it wasn't like they had anywhere to run to.

* * *

第１６話 －　終

* * *

**Footnotes:**

**'_Schleiße_' (Shit)**

**I'm sorry to say, but this story only has 3 more chapters to go. Please leave plenty of reviews for me, ne!**


	17. Matt's Soliloquy

* * *

**In the middle of writing this chapter, my computer messed up and I lost what I had written (TT) So I had to rewrite everything from memory. Hopefully it's as good as what I had...**

* * *

第１７話

"Matt's Soliloquy"

* * *

Matt sat morosely on the edge of the tall brick wall, located at the end of the dank alleyway that had recently become his home. The light metal gun he secretly carried with him weighed heavy in his pocket, and the bag of stolen food stared up at him accusingly, now unappetizing to him. Outside on the main street, he could hear strangers laughing and talking, back from shopping or visiting friends. Everything around him seemed suddenly so foreign, as he knew he belonged to none of it.

It was acrimoniously painful, the bleak road he was going down. However, he told himself that it was the only road someone like him _could_ take. No other path would accept him.

He gave a long sigh as the rain began to pour, and wondered where Mello was at the moment. Most likely, confined to his room until his parents felt nice enough to let him out. Matt knew it was his fault the other boy had gotten in trouble, and he knew Mello would probably have a much easier life if he weren't to come around again. The chances of Matt ever leaving the other boy, however, were equal to the chances of Mello giving up chocolate for the rest of his life. It was an utterly fruitless and impossible attempt. Even if his parents forbid them to ever see each other, Matt still longed to sneak over and knock on Mello's window as he had done often times before. How he longed to hear the other's reassuring voice that everything would be okay. Mello had always been there to comfort him, to reassure him, to love him. Matt felt so lost without him. Throughout everything gone wrong in Matt's life, Mello had always managed to bring some stability to his chaotic existence. He had always taken care of him. Now Matt was left to take care of himself, and look where that had ended up.

Matt wondered what Mello would say if he knew where he had been living, what he'd been doing to get food and other essentials. This mere knowledge was precisely why Matt had taken care not to tell him; because Mello would, no doubt, disapprove of how Matt was living. He'd probably yell at him for a week or two straight until his ears bled. Matt wouldn't have minded, though. If Mello yelled at him, it meant he actually cared – something Matt's parents never had done. Mello's scolding and reprimanding was something Matt appreciated more than anything.

The sky slowly began to grow dark, and Matt gave a groan. This was the time of day he hated more than anything. Even though he told himself he had no choice, that this was the only way he could live, Matt still felt the heavy weight of guilt at every sundown.

Hopping down off of the wall, Matt pulled up his hood against the rain and trudged down the sidewalk towards the suburban area he knew all too well from his nights spent scrounging for whatever he could snatch. The closer he got to the house, the louder Mello's rebuking voice was in his head. '_What are you doing? Is this really how you're going to live the rest of your life?!_' he would say. '_I thought you were better than this!_'

"Sorry, Mello," Matt said softly, giving a small laugh under his breath. "I'm not."

He had chosen the house days ago, and tonight Matt was surprised to find it empty. Usually he wasn't so lucky. The back gate was locked, but climbing over the fence was a small problem compared to what he usually encountered. After he had checked to make sure that this family had no overly-active dogs guarding the area, Matt hopped over and made his way to the first-story window, which he easily pried up. The soft carpet muffled his landing as he jumped inside, and he instinctively checked the room for anyone who might have stayed home. Once the coast was clear, Matt skulked into the hallway and listened for any noises. Upon hearing nothing, he peeked into the bedroom that rested to his right, the door halfway open and the inside pitch black. There was no one inside, and Matt gave a small sigh of relief as he made his way inside and crept over to the jewelry case resting on the newly furnished dresser of the master bedroom.

His eyes widened as he saw the contents, and he could feel his stomach sink guiltily as he stuffed everything into the bag he'd brought with him. Although he knew how rich these families were, and how little material possessions should mean to people who could buy expensive stuff every day, it didn't make him feel any less horrible about what he was doing. Matt silently cursed himself as he walked out of the bedroom, and began to search the rest of the house.

'_I'm very disappointed in you_,' Mello would say. '_I can't believe you would do this. Stop it right now!_'

Matt gave a small sob. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I know...please forgive me, Mello..." He crammed more of the shimmering jewelry into his bag. "Please, please...forgive me."

The air was breezy when Matt finally arrived back outside, the climb over the fence slightly more difficult with a bag full of stolen goods. They only reminded him of his sins.

By now, the rain had stopped and for this Matt was grateful. With another long sigh, he turned to head towards the pawn shop.

* * *

第１７話　－　終

* * *

**Sorry for the shortness of the chapter... I wanted to give Matt's POV at one point, so there it is. Sorry if the updates are slower, but I'm hoping to finish a new fic before this one ends completely. :)**


	18. Banished

第１８話

"Banished"

* * *

Matt slowly raised his hand to knock on the window, his heart pounding, even though the level of security at Mello's house wasn't near what Matt expected it to be. Dogs at the fence and bars on the window would have been minor, in his opinion. It also wasn't that he felt right in coming here. He simply felt lonely, and he needed Mello. Matt was perfectly aware of the fact that he was needy and pathetic; he simply chose not to care about this fact, while he climbed the house and knocked softly at the other boy's window. Not meaning to be rude – Matt would have called, if it weren't for the fact that Mello's father had no doubt confiscated his son's cellphone.

Waiting nervously on the other side of the window, Matt shivered slightly. What if Mello's father was expecting this? What if he was waiting on the other side of the window with a gun, or Taser, or...? Matt had many possibilities for weapons Mello's father could use, but preferred not to think about it.

He let out a huge sigh of relief as Mello appeared on the other side, and opened the window to let Matt through. Climbing gratefully in, Matt landed unceremoniously on the floor as always, picking himself up just as Mello shut the window.

"Mello, I'm sorry I came over – I know I'm not supposed to, and I know you'll get into a lot of trouble if your parents see me..." he began to ramble. "I know I'm needy and pathetic and lonely and helpless, and that you probably get tired of putting up with me and listening to me all the time and following you everywhere. I'm sorry for being such a needy and clingy person and I know that you probably hate that a lot of the time, and I'm sorry for coming here tonight, but I just really wanted to see you – and I know that sounds pathetic and needy too – but I couldn't help it. I...I..." He stopped mid-sentence as he realized how short of breath he was.

"Matt, calm down – what is it?" Mello said, pulling Matt over to sit beside him on the bed. "I'm _glad_ you're here." He smiled. "After what happened today, I didn't think you'd ever want to come again."

"R-really?" Matt asked, still a little breathless.

"Of course." His smile widened. "I've missed you." Mello leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

"I've missed you, too," Matt replied, kissing him back softly.

Suddenly, Mello pulled back, his expression troubled.

"Na? What is it?" Matt asked, looking curiously at the other boy.

"I have to tell you something." His voice sounded as troubled as his expression.

"Oh...what is it?"

"I'm sorry, Matt..." Mello shook his head. "I don't know how you're going to react, and I... it isn't my decision. But my...parents talked to me the other day..." He trailed off.

"And...?" Matt prompted.

Mello made a small choking noise in the back of his throat, and took a deep breath. "They're sending me away."

"What!?" Matt immediately sat up in the bed, staring at Mello in disbelief. "What do you mean?"

Mello looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. "To a boarding school," he said softly.

"A...boarding school? Wh-where?"

The other boy didn't seem willing to answer. "...Italy," he said quietly.

"Italy!?" Matt cried.

Mello cringed.

"Why!?"

"My father thinks I need more...'discipline'. So...they're sending me away."

Matt's face fell. "...this is my fault. Because you were talking to me...!"

"No, Matt, it isn't your fault!" Mello said, looking up at him with wide eyes. "They've been wanting to send me away for years. They're just using this as an excuse – a perfect opportunity." he wiped his eyes. "Don't blame yourself."

"But...what are we going to do?" Matt said hopelessly.

"I don't know..."

"Well...the decision isn't final, is it? I mean, they're just talking about it...right?" He almost dared to hope so.

Mello shrugged. "My father doesn't usually change his mind about these things; once he's decided on something, he's decided on it."

"Oh, Mello..." Matt looked at the other boy sympathetically, holding him in his arms as he started to cry harder. "It'll be alright. We'll still..." He swallowed hard, unable to find any comforting words to say in this situation. "I love you, Mello," he said.

"I love you too, Matt." Mello's arms tightened around the other boy. "I don't want to leave, I don't want to leave you..." he started to sob.

"It'll be alright, Mello..." Matt said, trying to stay calm. "We'll figure something out, I promise. It'll be fine..."

"It won't be fine!" Mello cried. "They're sending me away, and there's nothing...n-nothing I can d-do about it!"

"Mello...please don't cry." Matt's voice became pained. "I hate it when you do...because...you're one of the strongest people I know."

"I'm not strong, Matt," Mello said, giving a dry laugh. "Believe me, I'm not..."

"Of course you are." Matt gave a gentle smile and wiped the tears streaking down Mello's face. "You were always there for _me_, remember? You've always been a very strong person in my opinion."

Mello shook his head. "I'm not. I'm really not." Another small sob escaped his throat. "Matt...I don't want to leave. But I don't know what else to do! I-it isn't even up to me..."

"How long did they say it was for?" Matt asked.

"I don't know..." Mello's voice was growing high-pitched. "A year? Until I turn eighteen I suppose, I don't know..."

After a few minutes of sobbing and muttering incoherently, Mello's crying stopped and he relaxed with his arms around Matt. "I've never felt so helpless... I-I really don't see any way out of it..."

"We'll find something," Matt assured him. "It'll work out. It has to."

"Italy..." Mello moaned. "Italy, of all blessed places!"

"He must really want you far away from me," Matt said, trying to joke but failing.

Mello gave a soft sob. "I hate them. I really, really hate them!"

Matt almost smiled at the irony of the statement; it seemed barely any time ago that he had said the same thing about his own parents. He felt a stabbing pain in his chest just thinking about it now. "Don't say that," he said gently. "You'll feel really bad if it turns out to be the last thing you ever say to them."

"I wouldn't care," Mello repeated.

Matt sighed. "Have you tried talking to them? Maybe if..."

"There's no way around it, Matt. I've tried everything!"

Giving a sympathetic sigh, Matt tightened his arms around Mello. "I'm sorry...I wish I could make things better."

"I know. But at least you're here. For a short time, anyway..."

Before Matt could reply, loud voices from the hallway interrupted them, a sure sign that Mello's parents were coming.

"Shit!"

The two of them immediately pulled away and Matt hurried over to the window, where Mello all but pushed him out. "Hurry!" He prompted.

"I'm going, I'm going!" Matt hissed, one foot out the window as he prepared to jump.

"Wait!" Mello said suddenly, and Matt froze.

"What?"

A white hand roughly grabbed the front of Matt's shirt, and pulled their faces together, capturing their lips in a hurried kiss. "I love you," he whispered, as they pulled away. His melted expression suddenly turned urgent as the voices grew louder. "Now go!" he said, and Matt had jumped from the window in a flash. Mello all but slammed the window shut behind him, hurrying to lock it and get back in bed before his parents opened the door.

* * *

第１８話　－　終


	19. An Deiner Seite

**Yes, this is the last chapter. I know some of you were enjoying the story, and I'm sorry to end it. But you can look forward to my next work, which (hopefully) will be out shortly! I will work my hardest to provide you with something new to read as soon as possible! :) (Sheesh, I haven't had a break since 'Obsession' XD) But I like it when people like a story of mine, so it inspires me to work even harder on the next ones!**

* * *

第１９話

"An Deiner Seite"

* * *

Matt stood in front of the house, every bit of him shaking as his hand curled protectively around the gun in his jacket, just to check and make sure it was there. The chill in the night air only made him shiver more, as he walked around the back of the house and picked the lock on what he guessed was the kitchen door. His hands shook so badly that it took him more than his usual ten seconds.

When the door finally swung open, Matt made his way carefully inside; he couldn't tell yet if anyone was in the house, or if whoever was inside was awake. Immediately, he crept to where he knew that bedroom was and began to creak open the door.

Then he heard a voice.

"Daddy, is that you?"

* * *

Giving an angry sigh, Mello slammed his bedroom door for what seemed like the twentieth time that night. No matter how much he tried to persuade his father, the man didn't budge on his decision.

Italy...

Mello flung open his closet door and grabbed a suitcase, throwing everything he could grab inside. In all of five minutes, he had emptied his closet and half of his dresser. _I can't stand it here anymore! I'll leave, if that's what it takes! I won't do what he says this time, I won't! I...I can't..._

Setting the suitcase on the bed, he suddenly was hit by a jolt of realization.

He had nowhere to go.

With a defeated sigh, he sat down beside the suitcase on the bed and put his head in his hands. He was sick of this. Looking out the window, he carefully noted the sun slowly setting behind the clouds. If he didn't go now, there wouldn't be a chance. By morning, he didn't know where he would be.

Before he had time to debate his decision further, a series of sharp and hurried knocks invaded his thoughts, and it took him a few minutes to realize that it was coming from his window.

"Matt!?" Mello hurried over to the window and opened it wide for the other boy to crawl through.

Matt scrambled in, his face a ghostly chalk white. "M-Mello..." He was shaking worse than Mello in his fury. "M-Mello, I..." he was trembling too much to get the words out.

"Matt...you look terrified. What happened?" He gently guided the other boy to sit on the bed, and Mello put a comforting arm around him.

"I...I..." tears streaked down his face as a look of utter shock and hopelessness enveloped his expression. "...I shot someone."

"What?!" Mello's expression changed to match Matt's, and he looked just as shocked as his friend. "What do you mean? Who!?" he rattled off a series of questions that the other boy merely shook his head at.

"It...was a girl..." Matt gave a tortured sob. "Mello, I'm sorry...all this time, I...I haven't been honest with you... I haven't been living anywh-where! I've b-been s-stealing from people t-to get what I n-need, and...a-and..."

It took a moment for all of this sudden information to make sense in Mello's head. When it did, he was just as dumbstruck as before. "You've been living on the streets!? Stealing!? Matt, I don't believe this! Why didn't you tell me!?"

"Wh-what could you have d-done?" Matt snapped. "You honestly think your p-parents w-would have welcomed me w-with open a-arms? Huh!?"

As the other boy broke down into sobs, Mello wrapped his arms around him and pulled him tightly against him. "Oh, Matt... Why didn't you tell me? I-I would have done _something_! Why...?" He started to cry too. "Why didn't you tell me that it was like that...?"

"You worried enough about me without adding this to the list!" Matt replied. "I-I knew you w-were having a tough time, too, and I-I didn't want you worrying about my p-problems."

"But Matt, that's what I'm _here_ for!" Mello cried. "If only you had told me, I..."

"You would've what?" Matt said. "I already said, there's n-nothing you could have done. It wasn't y-your problem."

"But I hate that you were going through that without telling me about it! Of course I worry about you, I love you!" Mello cried, beginning to grow angry. "I was worried sick about you all this time because I didn't know where you were. Now that I do I feel guilty that I didn't know about it! Matt, how could you have not told me something as important as that!?"

"I-I'm s-sorry!" Matt started to cry. "I-I j-just didn't w-want you t-to h-have s-something else t-to w-worry a-about, a-and I-I..." he buried his face in his hands.

"Matt..." Mello wrapped his arms tightly around him again, feeling the other boy shake against him.

"I-I'm s-so sorry, M-Mello...! And n-now, I...I m-might have k-killed s-someone..." his sobs grew louder. "I-I..."

"Sh..." Mello gently rocked back and forth, stroking Matt's hair. "It'll be okay. Just calm down... Just calm down and t-tell me exactly wh-what happened, okay?" He pulled Matt away and looked him in the eye.

"I..." Matt wiped his eyes with a shaking hand. "I went t-to a house, to uh – to s-steal...y-you know... And I-I..." He fought the urge to break down crying in Mello's arms again. "I...h-heard a v-voice, and I-I uh – I th-thought it was the-the father, s-so I...I t-turned around and I...wi-without e-even th-th-th-thinking, I..." he trailed off and then took a deep shaky breath. "I...I sh-shot a l-little girl. A kid, M-Mello! A k-k-kid!" He put a hand to his mouth as though the shock still hadn't worn off.

Mello could sense a sick feeling settling in the pit of his stomach, and his face drained of color. "Oh, M-Matt..."

"I-I'm s-so sc-s-s-s-scared M-Mello, I...I d-don't kn-know wh-what to d-d-d-do!" he wailed.

Taking a deep breath, Mello put his hands on either of Matt's shoulders and tried to speak with as steady voice. "Alright, l-listen to me, Matt. Okay? We're going to l-leave." He swallowed. "I've a-already packed my things, okay? W-we both can go...t-together."

"G-go?" Matt repeated. "Wh-wh-where?"

Thinking hard, Mello gave a long sigh. "I read up on this o-orphanage – m-more like a school, really – up in England. It's really prestigious, and w-well...I f-figured I'd go there, you know? Far away. And you can come with me!" His face suddenly lit up in sudden realization. "Oh, Matt, it'll be perfect! We can run away together!"

"You r-really th-think s-so?" Matt said, looking up at Mello hopefully.

"Of course! I a-already stole some money from my parents..."

"And I have some that _I_ stole!" Matt said, then cringed as he remembered that he _had_ stolen it.

"A-alright...th-then it's s-settled. We-we'll leave t-tonight," Mello said, trying to look certain of himself, though he was shaking almost as badly as Matt.

For the first time in what seemed like ages, Matt smiled. "That's perfect, Mello! We can run away!"

As though still debating the idea, Mello looked towards the doorway, then back to the window, his hand still resting on his packed suitcase. "A-alright. Let's go then. The sooner, the b-better."

* * *

As both boys took their seats together on the plane, the two of them suddenly felt the heavy reality of what they were about to do hit them full force.

"M-Mello...?" Matt said softly, looking over at the other boy, who was staring absentmindedly out the window.

"Y-yeah?" Mello didn't meet his gaze at first.

"We-we're really running away, a-aren't we?"

He heard Mello swallow a lump in his throat. "Y-yeah, Matt... w-we are."

"It's almost t-too real to be true, huh?"

Mello nodded numbly. "It is. But it's too late to turn back now."

Matt instantly found Mello's hand and gave it a small squeeze. "I don't want to turn back. I want to be with you. As long as you're sure about this yourself, then I..." he smiled slightly. "I can go through with it too. As long as I'm with you, I'll be fine."

Closing his eyes with a slight pained expression, Mello leaned over to rest his head softly on Matt's shoulder. "I don't want to turn back either." His hand intertwined their fingers and held Matt's hand tightly in his lap. "As long as I'm with you, I don't care where we end up."

Matt closed his eyes, a peaceful expression fleeting across his face. "We're all each other has now," Matt said.

"It's always been that way," Mello reminded him. "I feel no more alone now than I did all my life."

"But now things are different. You know?"

Mello gave a sigh and opened his eyes a bit. "Yeah, it is. But that's what I'm looking forward to." He smiled. "Being with you, without anyone else in the way."

Matt returned the smile sincerely. "I love you, Mello," he whispered, kissing the top of the other boy's head as he began to drift off to sleep.

"I love you too," Mello repeated sleepily. He yawned. "How long do you think it'll take to get to England?"

"About eleven hours, maybe?" Matt guessed.

"Promise to stay right here when I fall asleep?" Mello said, squeezing Matt's hand tightly, his voice etched with the slight pleading tone that only Matt could ever notice.

Matt returned the squeeze and put his other arm around Mello, running his fingers through the other boy's hair. "I'll always stay," he whispered, just as Mello fell asleep against him.

* * *

第１９話　－　終

友達０８　－　終

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**I actually expected to end on an even 20 chapters (haha...) But hurray! This actually is my shortest chapter fanfiction! So yay me, I've accomplished something! :)**

**And please don't be pissed off with this chapter (if some of you were...) It ends where 'Obsession' begins (sort of). So naturally it would end with them going to the orphanage. It skips over a few things (like when Mello started using Matt, etc...) But I think it's okay to end it here. And who knows, I may add a few more chapters one day! :) **

**Like I said, this is sort of the prequel to "OBSESSION", though some things may not fit completely. **

**About the chapter title, '_an deiner seite_' is German for 'by your side'. It's the name of a song by Tokio Hotel (which I love!) and I thought it fit the chapter :)**

* * *

**I would like to think all of the people that have reviewed this story! Once again, if you only commented on the last chapter, you aren't on here. Sorry! :)**

**(The top 3, as usual!) :**

**1. UchihaEna**

**2. Shikirou**

**3. Salvi**

**-- (the rest is in no particular order) :3**

**angellovedark**

**UnratedCrimsonBlood**

**Kurotorachan**

**Living in a Fantasy**

**C Elise**

**inkling**

**MelloisMellow**

**Eri-chan**

**The Shock of the Dawn**

**Xxhalycon-lambxX **

**kls12**

**Han**

**AlmightySponge**

**JenSully**

**kittygoth1**

**Kit-Kat-Punk-lover**

**Neiha Lasharie **

**NeoAddctee**

* * *

**21 individual reviewers! Wow, I feel honored! Thank you guys so much for reading the story, and I hope you will read my next work as well! :)**

**-Kit**


End file.
